Tagged!

Fun time! Rupert of Chateau Hentzau recently tagged me. My very first blogging tag!


1.) What's the largest thing you've ever put in your ass? ~ Since this is relatively new territory for me, this is the largest thing so far. I'm working on getting this in there so I can eventually get one of these to fit.


2.) What's the oddest object you've put inside your body(ass/pussy)? ~ Would a camera count? Colonoscopies are SO much fun! I've had a pelvic ultrasound. That "wand" was a fairly decent size but Nurse Ratchet on the other end was a mood killer. Okay, seriously - a Popsicle in my pussy. Just because.


3.) What's the most public place you've ever had sex? ~ A cemetery.


4.) Are you naughtier in your head than you are in your bed? ~ I can be. I'm trying to go from abstract to concrete forms of naughty though.


5.) Masturbating - what do you call it? ~ Fun!



6.) Would you, could you, in a car? On the highway? In a bar? ~ Sex in a car, blow-job in a bar. On the highway? Not so far!


7.) What do you think is your most sexually attractive feature ? ~ My rapier wit. Possibly, my eyes.



8.) What do other people think is your most sexually attractive feature? ~ My tits.



9.) Do you have an instant turn-on spot on your body? If yes, where is it? ~ If I do, no one has found it yet.



10.) Is there anything you want to do that you're too chicken to try? ~ After having a 10 lb, 1 oz baby vaginally - NO!

UPDATE!!! Just so y'all know, my opinion of ELMER'S CHOCOLATES has been corroborated!

Sad

Heath Ledger


Suzanne Pleshette

The deaths of these two fine actors has made me very sad. May they both rest in peace.

Recovering

Hello. It's Monday. Saturday I did the cancer walk. I had to get up very, very early. I don't mind doing this at all. As stated before, it's for my daughter. It's an emotional event. Seeing all the pink-shirted survivors is uplifting but knowing there are so many who aren't there to don their pink shirt is sobering. We all had a wonderful time and will be on board for next year.

On Sunday, I was once again up too damn early to take part in a "bridal expo" for Slumber Parties. I had to drive quite a distance and was there from 8:00 am to 5:00 pm. All those happy soon-to-be married women were exhausting! One of the things that made me laugh is that the "brides" mothers were VERY interested in what we had to offer. With age comes wisdom, I assume.

The point of this post is that I am flat-out. I'm barely functioning with three cups of coffee. I've been tagged, twice, with meme's but cannot even get two brain cells to rub together. I hope to recover soon to dazzle y'all with my brilliant wit and exciting life.

I'm thinking about taking some Nyquil. It's not drug abuse if you just want it but don't really need it, is it?

The "C" Word

No, not THAT "C" word. The other one: CANCER.

I would be happy to be called a cunt everyday for the rest of my life if only I never had to hear my beautiful daughter say to me, "Mom, I have breast cancer."

My blood froze, every muscle in my body turned to water, and the horrible screaming I heard was actually me. We all cried. Her father, her husband, me and my daughter. Then I got drunk and threw up in her backyard.

After that we all put on our big girl panties (men included) and dealt with it. Tomorrow me, her husband, my daughter and X, along with several friends and co-workers, will once again participate in the annual Susan G. Komen Race for The Cure. Our group being none too athletic will be walking the 5K course along the intra-costal waterway. We get to meet and talk to survivors, mothers walking for daughters, sisters walking for sisters, sons walking for mothers. Whether they are walking for survivors or in memory of, every person does this walk or run for someone they love very, very much. It is why I walk so joyfully WITH my daughter - a survivor.The story down below was written right after Christina was diagnosed. She asked me to share it with all my friends - real and cyber.








A Message from Christina …

My daughter, Christina, asked me to do this – for YOU! Christina is 28 years old. In April of this year she felt a pain in her left breast. She also thought she felt a lump. The lump seemed to enlarge and decrease but the pain stayed. She made an appointment with her gynecologist. He did a quick breast exam and told her not to worry about it because there was no history of breast cancer in our family and SHE WAS TOO YOUNG TO HAVE BREAST CANCER.

By early June, the pain was becoming worse and she went to see our family doctor. The family doctor gave her a breast exam and did feel something like a mass, she doubted Christina had cancer – maybe a breast cyst, and scheduled her for a sonogram. The sonogram did show a mass, still possibly a fibrous cyst but the family doc referred her to a breast surgeon. The surgeon did another sonogram to confirm and decided to do a breast biopsy. He was pretty sure it was just an infected cyst but wanted to be sure.After the biopsy, the surgeon told me he was very relieved because when he stuck the anesthetic needle in he felt a “pop” and lots of fluid and blood began to come out. He was 98% sure at this point it was an infected cyst, he drained all the fluid he could but went ahead and did the biopsy because he just needed to be sure. She is only 28 and with no history of breast cancer he felt that cancer was not really an option but just in case, he did the biopsy.

The biopsy showed AN EXTREMELY AGGRESSIVE FORM OF BREAST CANCER.Christina has had a lumpectomy and is now going through chemotherapy and will have radiation. She has large breasts so the removal of the 4cm tumor has left her one breast scarred but it’s not too bad. She has had a port inserted for her chemo because her veins are not very large. Her hair will fall out completely by her 29th birthday, September 25, 2006. We had fun buying wigs. She bought a wig her normal hair color and style (brown and straight) but decided a blonde wig was also in order. She is also thinking about having a double mastectomy and reconstruction.


HER MESSAGE TO YOU IS – NO MATTER HOW YOUNG YOU ARE, NO MATTER WHAT YOUR FAMILY HISTORY, IF YOU FEEL SOMETHING IS WRONG MAKE SURE YOU FOLLOW YOUR HEART AND GET TO A DOCTOR THAT WILL TREAT YOU. DEMAND TESTS, DEMAND THAT THE DOCTOR TAKE YOU SERIOUSLY.She has spoken to over a dozen women ages 21 -32 who have gone through or are going through the same thing she is and all of them were told initially – YOU ARE TOO YOUNG FOR BREAST CANCER. Don’t believe it – YOU’RE NOT!

Christina is 1 year cancer free. She feels great, has been losing weight and working with a trainer. Her hair came in the most beautiful warm brown and so curly. If I do say so myself, she is gorgeous. She has also learned that the crap you get in life isn't to be worried about. Have some fun and joy every single day. Don't save the good perfume - use it! She's a funny, smart, talented, beautiful woman. She wants to be a mother, soon. I have no doubt she will make a wonderful mother and in time, a fabulous grandmother.

The Boy is BRILLIANT!

HELL EXPLAINED BY CHEMISTRY STUDENT

The following is an actual question given on University of Washington chemistry mid term.

The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well:

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant..

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. Therefore, we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let us look at the different religions that exist in the world today.

Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Okay, so I'm late but isn't this worth the wait?