Monday, December 31, 2012


May the new year bring you luck.
May the new year bring you health.
May the new year bring you peace.
May the new year bring you prosperity.
May the new year bring you love.
May the new year keep you coming to visit me.
May the new year never bring you the horror of the last year.
HAPPY NEW YEAR! to everyone!

(The new year is bringing me a grandbaby. A boy! WooHoo! ... Um, I still won't be called "grandma", though!)
From Millan.Net

Monday, December 24, 2012

Merry Christmas!

Usually I'll wish you all a Merry Christmas/Happy Holiday with something funny, snarky, silly or sarcastic - or all of the above.  This year didn't seem the right time for that type of greeting but it doesn't mean that I don't still love you all.  I do want you to have the happiest of holidays, no matter what you celebrate.  I also wish for each and everyone, a peaceful, healthy, prosperous New Year. 

I also want to give you a little gift. Please enjoy the amazingly talented (and ubersexy) Chris Cornell singing my favorite hymn/carol.

Thank y'all for making my year much brighter!    From Millan.Net

Friday, December 14, 2012


I've never been sure of the existence of a God. I'm more sure today that there may not be one that is loving. But I am at this moment asking whatever Powers That Be to care for those that lives have been shattered.  The actions of one so depraved has broken my heart. What evil could live in this person's very being to commit such a heinous, horrible act?  There probably isn't a benevolent God but there certainly is a malevolent one.

If you do pray, do so now. Pray for all of us.

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

I'd like you to meet ...

From Millan.Net

Friday, November 30, 2012

Nitebyrd's Brain

Most days my job is mind numbing.  Other days, my poor Swiss cheese brain is worked to its limits.  After working in the medical field for 25+ years, lemme tell you Obamacare makes me more terrified than clowns.  Insurance companies are a clusterfuck as it is, add on insurance for the uninsured, etc. and I think we're gonna have Armageddon.  Don't even get me started on the Fiscal Cliff  from which I tend to segue to the moral/ethical cliff that we've already plunged over like so many lemmings.  See, I'm off on a tangent.  I'll save that discussion for another time.

What I wanted to tell you is that when I'm at work and I go out to the parking lot to smoke, I see lots of birds and small animals.  To either perk my sleeping brain up or give it something silly to think about, I'll anthropomorphize the wee beasties that linger.  If you read my blog about the Florida woodpeckers, you'll remember Winston and Phyllis.  About a week ago, I heard a woodpecker cheeping by the building.  He was perched on the ledge below the hole that held the original nest.  He was looking up towards the hole, chattering.  He then flew up to the hole and stuck his head inside.  I decided he was the couple's son, Dennis.  He'd come home to borrow money and was dismayed that mom & dad had moved, leaving no forwarding address!  (If you don't have or had teenagers, you won't find this as amusing as I do.)  Dennis' cries were very plaintive when he flew back down to a nearby tree.  He must have accepted his fate to be broke because I haven't seen him since.

There's also a rabbit that lives in the woods bordering the parking lot.  He comes out in the morning and late afternoon to munch on the long grass.  I know he's the same rabbit because his left ear is deformed.  It appears he has only one ear so I've named him Van Gogh.  I think he's a curmudgeon.  He sits and chews the grass but it looks like he's muttering to himself.  Probably about the field mice that make a mad dash for the bushes when I approach.  The scare him.  Or he's pissed at the noisy blue jays that fight over berries.  He could just be annoyed that he has a nub of an ear and no hot female rabbit will give him the time of day.  But I really think he's just cranky over life in general.  That's probably why I like him so much!  Grumpy Bunny and Dust Bunny, a perfect pair!

Thursday, November 22, 2012

Happy Thanksgiving!

May your stuffing be tasty
May your turkey plump,
May your potatoes and gravy
Have nary a lump.
May your yams be delicious
And your pies take the prize,
And may your Thanksgiving dinner
Stay off your thighs!

~Author Unknown

Friday, November 9, 2012

Not Dexter, just a zombie

Even with clinical depression, there are bright spots in life.  While doing research on the disease and the medication I'm taking, I came across a mood disorder associated with depression.  It's called ANHEDONIA.  Finding out about this cheered me up a bit because I was sure that I'd become Dexter. Not that I had homicidal thoughts, (Well, not often.) but because of the utter lack of emotion, I thought I might be a benign psychopath.

Dexter Morgan is a sociopath (different from a psychopath - Who knew?) with violent tendencies.  He lacks regular human emotions; he "fakes" them by observing social interactions of others.  Other than anger, I've been faking emotions for a long time.  Lemme tell you, it's exhausting!

I thought that it was the fault of the medication.  It is but only partially.  My "zombiedom" started long before I was prescribed anti-anxiety and antidepressant medication.  I can't pinpoint the time when it started but I know it's been many years.  I'm now taking the maximum dose of Effexor, a serotonin-norepinephrine reuptake inhibitor (SNRI) class.  Lack of emotion, particularly pleasure, is one of it's side effects.  I haven't been truly, honestly - joyful, happy, content - in forever.  Since I did once have the entire range of human emotions, I can pretend to have them with great skill.  "Faking It" has taken on a completely new meaning for me.  However, I do pay a price.  After my "girls weekend", I was so tired I could have slept for days.  I never knew acting was such a tiring profession!  Johnny Depp must be positively weary!  My acting as a complete human being for so long has truly just sucked the energy right out of me, hence, "zombie".

That I have to act during social settings is probably why I avoid as many as I possibly can.  I do feel badly that I make excuses for not going somewhere and doing something with people I care for but some days I just don't have the strength to put on make-up, slap on the fake smile and deal with it.  Trying to explain this condition to people that don't have this aspect of depression and/or depression itself is difficult if not down right impossible.  The bottom line is - I can't give what I don't really have and I can't enjoy what you want to give me.

Regardless of my current mental state, my two personalities - Lizzie and Martha - keep me in a fairly "sane" state. (Yeah, right!  I sound totally sane, don't I?)  Lizzie helps me act out the sarcastic, witty, fun side and Martha allows me to maintain the work, home, mother (soon to be grandmother - that's another story!) side.  The Effexor in this dosage has calmed my brain down enough so that I can actually THINK.  This is such an amazing development that I'm very sure I'm going to work through all my shit sometime in the future and I will be able to really FEEL the joy, happiness, sex, fun, laughter, silliness, once again.  Lizzie and Martha will merge into "ME" and zombies will just be in the books and movies I'll enjoy.
Smiley from

Saturday, November 3, 2012

Locusts Only Come Every 17 Years, Why Can't Elections? - Don't forget to vote on Tuesday for the slightly less awful and eventually completely ineffective candidate - You should be proud of your right to vote for shameless politicians 

Smiley from

Wednesday, October 31, 2012


 'Tis now the very witching time of night,
When churchyards yawn and hell itself breathes out
Contagion to this world.

~ William Shakespeare

Friday, October 19, 2012

2012 Blogger Virtual Zombie Walk

On October 6, Mulder and I visited Universal Studios – Orlando for Halloween Horror Nights 22.This was the first time in many years that there was no theme for the event.  There were also no “No Scare Zones”. The streets were a free for all of vampires, witches, twisted trick-or-treaters, grim reapers, asylum escapees wielding chainsaws and ZOMBIES!!!  They’d pop up randomly or slither out of the dark and scare the crap out of me.  I loved it!

The main draw for me was,  AMC’s The Walking Dead – Dead Inside and Alice Cooper’s Nightmare. Both of the houses were excellent. Well, it is Universal, not the Kiwanis Haunted House in Chester’s barn, so I expected nothing less than exceptional.  Right?

Living 1.5 hours away from Orlando is one of the few perks of living in Florida. I’m not a huge fan of “The Mouse” but Universal, Islands of Adventure, Sea World, House of Blue and Hardrock Live, kick ass. Halloween Horror Nights is a highlight of my usually dismal year.  (Not attending last year was horrible!)Being an honorary zombie and having the third season of The Walking Dead coincide with HHN, made me damn near giddy to be going this year. (I have a very nice boss.)
Someone (thing?) was in here

Original Psycho Poster

Stilt Walking Skeletons
The Car for Sophia
    There are seven “houses” this year ~ 
  • The Walking Dead
  • Silent Hill
  • Alice Cooper - Welcome To My Nightmare
  • Penn & Teller New(kd) Vegas
  • Dead End
  • Gothic
  • Universal's House of Horrors
I only knew that Silent Hill was a video game and a movie but I hadn’t a clue what it was about.  A nice girl behind me in line filled me in.  The house wasn’t scary and I guess you had to be into the game and/or movie(s). The pyramid head guy was just stupid.  Since I’m around psycho nurses all day, those in the house were just more of the same.

 Now, Universal wants to make sure that you get in the spirit of things by selling spirits of all types and alcohol content at about every 20 steps you take within the park.  By the time I got to Universal’s House of Horrors, I had enough “spirits” in me to do a seance with the original inventor of beer.  So, I’m just gonna say – Dracula, Frankenstein, The Mummy, Wolfman, still look great in black & white after all these years.  None of them could’ve scared me if they all came up and kissed me on the mouth.

Roasted turkey legs and popcorn abound, as do glow-in-the-dark and light-up hats, necklaces, bracelets, shirts – you name it, they have it lighting up and/or glowing.  You have to turn your light up stuff off when you go in the house or on a ride so it’s kind of annoying.  But you’ll have that skull necklace collecting dust for many years to come and that’s what counts!

I’ll give you a rundown of the rest of the houses and the Bill & Ted Show.  We missed the magic show (probably was buying beer!).  Basically, I’ll give you my impressions of the houses because you are kinda herded through like cattle and there is A LOT to take in while being accosted by the "scareactors".  My picture taking was erratic,  to say the least.  No photography is allowed in the houses. I did not go on any rides because I went on the Harry Potter ride in Islands of Adventure that morning.  My daughter lied and told me it really didn’t actually move . The bitch!.

Penn & Teller New(kd) Vegas ~ A 3-D walking experience, it’s silly and funny but only a wee bit scary. Very colorful! It’s good to go to this one in the middle of the others for a different experience,  I think.

Alice Cooper ~ Lot's of "jumpers" in this one. It was chaotic and fun, like Alice!

Dead End ~ A decaying mansion full of everything you'd expect in a haunted house.  When not being scared by "jumpers", seeing the attention to detail like dusty antimacassars and Victorian furniture, period dress, is impressive.

Gothic ~ Probably my favorite house after The Walking Dead.  A "Cathedral" setting with gargoyles - both on the ground and in the air! - candles, effective lighting and it was the biggest.  Our treat was seeing "the changing of the gargoyles" at the end of the house!

Trapped With Rats In A Coffin
The Walking Dead ~ It gave me chills!  I actually touched the "Dead Inside" door!  Fantastic zombies and artifacts from the show.  Some crazy zombie killing was going on in Dale's camper.  The hospital, the department store, the barn and scads of "walkers".  Also, Teddy Bear Girl was "greeting" outside.  LOVED IT!

Bill & Ted's Excellent Halloween Adventure is a tradition at HHN.  While Bill & Ted are a bit dated, the show always skewers pop culture in hysterical fashion.  This year's show was no exception.  Seeing a show is also a nice break from the "scareactors" or jumpers, as I call them and it gives you a chance to catch your breath, while being able to drink your beer without spilling.

I don't work for Universal nor to I promote Florida tourism but if y'all ever plan a trip to The Sunshine State, come in October.  It's not as hell-hot as August, the Snow Birds haven't come back yet and you can visit Universal's Halloween Horror Nights!  (Make sure you spring for the "Fast Pass", it's well worth the extra money.) 


Much THANKS! to Zombies Everywhere for hosting this year.
Zombies Everywhere
Halloween Blues
The Southern Northerner
Martha's Journey
Annie Walls
GingerRead Review
App'y Talk
Kweeny Todd
Jenny's House of Horrors
Bubba's Place
Fictional Candy
herding cats & burning soup
Author Sherry Soule Blog
Paranormal research Group Blog
Adult Urban Fantasy by Sherry Soule
Moonlight Publishing Blog
Candid Canine
Ghost Hunting Theories
Above the Norm
A Dust Bunny In The Wind
Faith McKay
Zombob's Zombie News & Movie Reviews
Flesh From The Morgue
The Living Dark
Some One Else's Cook
Stumptown Horror
Forget About TV, Grab a Book
Zombie Dating Guide
Strange State
The Paranormalist - Renae Rude
Idée Fixe
Random Game Crafts
WhiteRoseBud's Tumblr
Book Me!
Carmen Jenner Author
Sarasota Zombie Pub Crawl
Not Now...Mommy's Reading
Love is a Many Flavored Thing
Its On Random
Ellie Potts
Attention Earthlings!
Horror Shock LoliPOP
The Spooky Vegan
The Story In...
DarkSide Detectives Blog
Something wicKED this way comes....
Julie Jansen: science fiction and horror writer
Author/screenwriter James Schannep
The Zombie Lab
Creepy Glowbugg
Sharing Links and Wisdom
Midnyte Reader
This Blog Has A.D.D.
Carol's Creations
Jeremy Bates
Vanessa Morgan

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

It's coming!!!

I'll be giving y'all my review of Halloween Horror Nights whilst still being on a The Walking Dead and American Horror Story high! Smiley from

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Zombies, Vampires and Chainsaws - OH! MY!

I'm outta here for some fun. And alcohol. See ya next week!

One of the good things about living in Florida.

(Adam struck out but it was a beautiful thing!)

Thursday, September 27, 2012

Adam Gets His One At Bat

Y'all know that I hate baseball more than going for my annual GYN exam and the dentist on the same day but this story had me crying for joy this morning.

Check out ADAM GREENBERG'S story at ONE AT BAT.

 I was also very proud that a Florida team is giving Adam his one at bat. If you ever pay attention to what sportscasters say, you'll know that ANY Florida team - football, baseball, and sometimes basketball - are the Nickelback of sports.

Thursday, September 20, 2012

What's Your Poison?

My sweet zombie lovin' friend, Britnie over at ... IT'S ON RANDOM is doing a giveaway on her blog.  It's a Halloween "POISON" bottle that I made.  It's a prop, curio, tchotchke, whatever but y'all can't drink it!

Please go on over to ... IT'S ON RANDOM, check out the details and Britnie's rockin' blog then enter the contest.  You have a chance to win the bottle and some special goodies I'll throw in 'cause I love you all to pieces!


Poison Bottle by nitebyrd

Sunday, September 16, 2012

Needed a laugh today ...

I hope y'all find Edina and Patsy as hilarious as I do.  Enjoy!

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

September 11

 We should feel sorrow, but not sink under its oppression.  
                                                                                                        ~ Confucius

Saturday, September 1, 2012

The Truth Is Out There ...

Smiley from

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Beach Bummed

I hate the beach.  Yeah, I know, someone in Kansas is calling me un-American right now.  When I was young, I enjoyed going to the beach.  Atlantic City and Jones Beach were awesome when you live in the North East and have winter. You need the beach after freezing rain, snow and slush.  Sometime after graduating high school, the beach lost its appeal for me.

Living in Florida, it's tough to avoid the beach but I've managed to do it for 20+ years.  I went a few years ago but that visit didn't involve any beach-y frolicking and it did include beer, so it wasn't too bad.  Two weeks ago, I wasn't so lucky.

Every once in a while I get together with two old friends.  We have a regular "girl's weekend".  Calling us "girls" is a stretch but we'll go with it.  This time we went over to the west coast of  Florida to Sanibel Island. Of course, this involved going to the beach.  For me it was almost like childbirth - I forgot about the pain and horror until I found myself in the delivery room ... again!


There I was in a bathing suit (THAT'S where the HORROR!!! comes in), sunscreened to my eyeballs walking on sand as hot as Satan's balls, to enjoy all the pleasures "the beach" has to offer.  We spent two hours sweating our tits off lazing in the water and doing "beachy" things. Without alcohol, I might add!  Two hours was enough time for me to get sand in every orifice (and I mean EVERY! SINGLE! ONE!)   I managed to get attacked by some kind of semi-transparent baby fish that caused my friends to think I'd finally lost my mind 'cause they kept trying to nibble on my legs and toes, causing me to fly out of the water like my ass was on fire every so often.  The fish didn't bother my friends at all!  I also got bit by some venomous insect that caused me to scratch my thigh so much I raised a bruise that looked like I got hit with a 100-mph fast-ball.  And last but not least, I got the worst sunburn on my back and shoulders that I've ever had, EVER!!!
Sanibel Island Lighthouse

You recall that I did use sunscreen.  Well, apparently profuse sweating and salt water diminish the effectiveness of sunscreen.  WTF! do I know about sunscreen? No beach - 20+ years!  I usually avoid the sun like the plague which means, I'm not really a sunscreen expert.

Oh! The PAIN! My ass didn't hurt but my back did.  I carried Bactine and aloe with me everywhere.  I asked total strangers to apply them to my back.  The ITCHING! I slept with a body brush so it was handy when I woke up in an itching frenzy.  The PEELING!  I had enough skin come off my back and shoulders to make Ed Gein a prom dress.  ACK!

I birthed two children.  After the second, I remembered why I waited eight years in between.  I'm pretty damn sure that eight years for my next beach visit won't be long enough.  I'm striving for a least another 20.

Sanibel Beach
Smiley from

Friday, August 17, 2012

The Urbanization of Florida Woodpeckers

Back in March, my office moved from its location to a freestanding building next to a wooded lot. The building is made from cement block and wood-frame stucco. Not long after the move, I was out in the parking lot smoking, (Yes, I know it will kill me but so will 87 other things in my life) when I heard a tapping/knocking sound coming from the building.  I thought someone was trying to get my attention by rapping on the window.  Nope.  It turned out to be a woodpecker.
  He was high up on the side of the building, pecking away like there was no tomorrow.  I figured this was the stupidest woodpecker since Woody!  There must be 200 trees in the lot for him to peck on and there he was going hell-bent for leather, on a building.
Winston At Work

I noticed after several days of this behavior, he'd actually managed to make a hole in the building, obviously in the stucco part, and was now madly tearing out insulation!  Not long after, lady woodpecker swoops on by and tucks herself right in the hole.  Damn! Mr. wasn't a dumb shit after all!

Watching the hole each time I went outside, I'd see Mr. and Mrs. take turns going in and out with nesting material.  When the babies hatched, they'd do the same thing bringing food.  Soon, the babies grew, learned to fly and the hole/nest was abandoned.  I felt sad.

I wasn't sad for long. About three weeks ago, I see not one but two male woodpeckers, jack hammering the side of the building!  This time, the females would fly by to check progress before taking off for the woods to get lunch.  I started to wonder what the conversations might be like between those birds...

The Woods Behind My Building
Charles ~ Christ!  I'd like to peck a hole in Winston's head!

Arnold ~ Me, too!  Thinkin' he's special 'cause he's a fancy city 'pecker!

Charles ~ He's a pecker, all right!  When Gloria saw that Phyllis had a nest in a nice beige building, she HAD to have the same. Just like when Winston brought home a baby snake for dinner.  Gloria had to have one of those, too.  I fucking HATE snake!!!

Arnold ~  Tell me about it, Brenda's the same way.  Winston, this! Phyllis, that! You'd think they were eagles or something!

Charles ~ I started a great nest in a nice Australian pine, but OH! NO! Gloria wasn't havin' any of that.  "What if there's a hurricane, Charles? What if the tree falls down, Charles? What if a squirrel climbs up there, Charles?"

Arnold ~ We've been makin' nests in trees forfuckingever but because of fancy-feathers Winston, we gotta be breakin' our beaks on this damn building!

Gloria and Brenda do a fly by ...

Gloria ~ You boys almost done? We need to lay these eggs, NOW! Y'all are talkin' more than two old owls!

Brenda ~ Winston didn't talk to anyone.  He had Phyllis' nest done in two days.  You guys are gonna be here all week at this rate.  Shut-up and get to work!

Charles and Arnold ~ Yes, dear!

Gloria Screaming for Charles to Get His Ass Home

Smiley from
My new meds totally rock!

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

First Picture From Mars

Smiley from

Monday, July 2, 2012


You know that old saying ~

Make new friends but keep the old, 
one is silver and the other gold. 

I don't have many real friends. I'm definitely not a "people person".  I don't make friends easily.  Being burned and thrown under the bus at a young age made me wary of trusting people.  I also realized early on that many people want you to be their friend because they think you can do and/or give them something.  The great philosopher, Snoopy, said, "I love mankind. It's people I can't stand."  I've considered this jewel of wisdom my lifetime motto.  There are however, exceptions to every rule.  As a young 'teen, I met someone who became a real, honest-to-goodness 24K gold friend.

Although we hadn't been in touch on a regular basis for many years, when we reconnected, it was as though we'd seen each other the week before.  I consider myself very fortunate to have a friend like this.  I hope that each of you has someone(s) in your life that is as special as my golden friend.

She recently gifted me a trip to her home in Pennsylvania.   It was fun and relaxing because she (and her family) is fun, laid back, hysterical and she just - let's me be.  I love her for this and so many other things.

Enjoy some pictures I took while there.  I was tickled pink to see "real" trees, hills, mountains and an actual Flea Market.  One where people were cleaning out their barns and attics.  Awesome!

Gorgeous view, right? Roll over the picture to see where I was. Can you believe it!?! This place was built on a hill, the parking lot overlooked this amazing vista.

Now THIS is a backyard!

I was going to walk in the woods but there was a bear with cubs roaming around.  I figured it was not a good idea.
  Can you believe it?  A CHRISTMAS TREE farm!!!
Who knew they actually grew 'em like pumpkins and corn?

 Driving down a hill!

I forgot how narrow the roads are and how twisty, too.  Two lane roads where I live are a thing long past.

 Wildflowers in the parking lot of WalMart!

This was the most beautiful WalMart I'd ever seen.  And even better, it was damn near empty!  No waiting for a cashier. 

This is a Yeti or Sasquatch  sculpture in her
garden.  She LOVES Yeti's.  I have no idea why but it's one of the things that makes me adore her!
 This little guy wasn't in Pennsylvania.  He's a baby peacock that was born at a friends house here in Florida.  His neighborhood has about 10 wild peacocks running around.  I know!  Crazy!  Isn't he the cutest thing you've seen today?

Monday, June 25, 2012

Bank of Evil

funny gifs

I'm not sure if I told y'all or not that back in May, Bank of The Anti-Christ Bank of America granted us a "permanent" mortgage modification. While it is not a fantastic deal, I do very much appreciate that they have waived their late fees and will allow us to continue to pay for the house until 2052.  I'll be 99 years old when the house is paid off.  Then I can retire.

One stipulation with the modification was that the documents needed to be signed and our first "new" payment, in the form of a cashier's check, HAD TO BE RECEIVED BY JUNE 1, 2012.  As we received the packet on May 15th and I was leaving for Pennsylvania on May 24th, it was a little bit of a scurry to get it all together.  The documents were signed and returned by FedEx on May 17th and on May 18th, I went to the bank for the cashier's check.  After that, I noted our account number on the check, attached a copy of the letter Bank of America had sent us, then mailed it certified mail - return receipt requested to the address noted in the mailing.  Several days later I got the return receipt back and confirmation from FedEx that everything was delivered in plenty of time.  I could relax and enjoy my trip.

Yeah, right!.  Bank of Satan Bank of America had ordained that relaxation after almost four years of stress and struggle wasn't going to happen just yet.

On Tuesday, June 12th, I get a call at work from Sandy at ABC Bank.  She is holding a cashier's check made out to Bank of America from me that came to her branch of ABC Bank without any other information except a form letter from BOA stating they can't identify the account number to which the check is supposed to be applied.  I don't bank at Sandy's branch of ABC Bank.  That branch isn't anywhere near my home or office.  WTF?  Panic sets in.  I leave work to get the check then spend the next 1.5 hours on the phone with Satan's Minions several Bank of America employees until I'm finally given someone with two functioning brain cells - Ms. Smart.  She apparently is my Account Manager. She assures me that all will be well, not to worry!  She tells me to trot on over to my local BoA branch here in Hell and I can give them the payment.  She is very calm as I'm still trying to put the fire out on my head and stop my brains from leaking out my ear.  I ask Ms. Smart to put in writing what she has just told me about the "permanent" modification not being in jeopardy because one of Bank of America's cretins copied the account number I'd written on the check wrong on the same check and that the payment would be applied today.  Ms. Smart would send me an email with all that information on it.  Not to worry!  Off I go into the gaping maw of darkness of my local Bank of America.

The teller was very laid back, she smiled a beatific smile as she told me she was sorry but she couldn't accept my payment because Beelzebub's children the Home Retention Dept. hadn't updated my loan in the system.  Since my hair started to ignite again, she suggested I get Ms. Smart on the phone.  I got Ms. Smart on the first try (maybe there is a God!), she chatted with Ms. Prozac for a bit but the bottom line was I couldn't make the payment there.  (It will be possibly two more months before the Home Retention Dept. gets around to updating things.  They're very busy pulling out the fingernails of the newly foreclosed.)

Ms Smart then suggests that she take the payment over the phone.  That's a BRILLIANT IDEA but how will I instantaneously transform this cashier's check in my hand back into money in my account?  Ms Smart (no wonder she's an assistant to The Prince of Fucking Darkness The President and CEO of Bank of America!) tells me to go to my branch of ABC Bank, they will null and void it then put the money back in my account.  I have approximately an hour to do this.

At my branch of ABC Bank, Mr. Rip Van Winkle is in front of me.  He has woken up and is now catching up on 20 years worth of banking.  My bank, not being as prestigious as Bank of America, has only one teller working.  The manager, while helpful and apparently on the same medication as Ms Prozac, can't fix the check situation, I must wait for the teller. *sigh*

To make a long story longer, I got it all done just under the wire.  It took me about  3.50 hours, 1/2 a tank of gas and 4.75 years off my life.  Right there it was worth it 'cause I'm not gonna live to be 99 anymore and Bank of America isn't going to get all their money!
Smiley from
Thanks to everyone who came to the Tophatter Auction on Saturday!