I knew before my children were born that I wanted to be the kind of mother that they could trust, one who would tell them the truth. I never talked “baby talk” to them and always tried to judge what age appropriate information for them was. I also never would assume that, “Not MY child! My daughter/son would NEVER do that!” Parents like that are just fooling themselves. Why do they think their kids won’t do the same or worse than they did?
Sometimes my philosophy worked very well. When my daughter was about the age when she was figuring out Santa and the Easter Bunny weren’t real guys, I told her that when children become a certain age that Santa and the Easter Bunny let mom, dad, older brothers and sisters, take over the duties that they performed for the smaller children. I further told her that was the way we could always keep the magic of Christmas and the fun of Easter going forever. Now that she was getting older it was a big responsibility to keep the secret going and help Santa and company. She LOVED it! She talks about it to this day. I was Queen Mom with that pearl of wisdom..
Other times the honesty didn’t work quite so well. Like the time we were watching “Carrie.” My daughter was about 9-10 years old. When the “shower scene” came on, she asked me what was going on. I went into great detail about a girl becoming a woman, having children, the responsibility of safe sex, yadda, yadda, yadda. My daughter never made a sound. I was thrilled she was hanging on my every word. When I finished, I asked her if she had any questions. She said, “Yeah. What’s for dinner?” I chalked it up to a fail but figured at least I planted a seed
I treated my son the same way. I did request that Mulder take over the actual “sex” talks with him. My son became aware of his penis very early in his life and like all men, it became his BEST friend. Since my son was five years old, he has never let me see him naked. I sent Mulder in a couple times over the years to check and make sure his junk was okay, in proper order, etc. Mulder did this with much anguish and I think the last time I did this, my son was about 15. After his father had asked him the torturous questions, my son stormed out of his room and told me that his plumbing was fine, did what it was supposed to, and worked correctly and to STOP HAVING HIS FATHER CHECK ON HIM!!! He further informed me he knew about sex and how to protect himself and any future girlfriends. “Jeez, MOM!” Those were his last words on the subject.
So, I let them come to me with questions. I answered honestly and as the years went by, the questions about sex became less and less. They still come to me with questions about a variety of subjects but never sex. My job on that topic was over. They both had been told about birth control, pre-marital sex, virginity, oral sex and so on. Whew!
Now that you know I was always up-front with my children about everything. And I do mean everything, imagine my surprise when I found out *I* didn’t want to know EVERYTHING about them!
On a recent evening, Mulder and I were going out to dinner. My son was in his room. He usually has the door closed and locked. I went out to the car while his father went to ask him if he wanted to join us. When Mulder came out, he was laughing. I wanted to know what was so funny. Mulder, bless his sick little heart, told me.
Apparently our son, my sweet little baby boy, was jerking off to internet porn! His door was locked but not closed tightly and when Mulder knocked, the door opened. Mulder (I would have paid money to see the look on his face) was confronted by the sight of wild monkey sex on the computer and his son wanking away blissfully.
My appetite was gone, some things a mother doesn’t want or need to know.
Sometimes my philosophy worked very well. When my daughter was about the age when she was figuring out Santa and the Easter Bunny weren’t real guys, I told her that when children become a certain age that Santa and the Easter Bunny let mom, dad, older brothers and sisters, take over the duties that they performed for the smaller children. I further told her that was the way we could always keep the magic of Christmas and the fun of Easter going forever. Now that she was getting older it was a big responsibility to keep the secret going and help Santa and company. She LOVED it! She talks about it to this day. I was Queen Mom with that pearl of wisdom..
Other times the honesty didn’t work quite so well. Like the time we were watching “Carrie.” My daughter was about 9-10 years old. When the “shower scene” came on, she asked me what was going on. I went into great detail about a girl becoming a woman, having children, the responsibility of safe sex, yadda, yadda, yadda. My daughter never made a sound. I was thrilled she was hanging on my every word. When I finished, I asked her if she had any questions. She said, “Yeah. What’s for dinner?” I chalked it up to a fail but figured at least I planted a seed
I treated my son the same way. I did request that Mulder take over the actual “sex” talks with him. My son became aware of his penis very early in his life and like all men, it became his BEST friend. Since my son was five years old, he has never let me see him naked. I sent Mulder in a couple times over the years to check and make sure his junk was okay, in proper order, etc. Mulder did this with much anguish and I think the last time I did this, my son was about 15. After his father had asked him the torturous questions, my son stormed out of his room and told me that his plumbing was fine, did what it was supposed to, and worked correctly and to STOP HAVING HIS FATHER CHECK ON HIM!!! He further informed me he knew about sex and how to protect himself and any future girlfriends. “Jeez, MOM!” Those were his last words on the subject.
So, I let them come to me with questions. I answered honestly and as the years went by, the questions about sex became less and less. They still come to me with questions about a variety of subjects but never sex. My job on that topic was over. They both had been told about birth control, pre-marital sex, virginity, oral sex and so on. Whew!
Now that you know I was always up-front with my children about everything. And I do mean everything, imagine my surprise when I found out *I* didn’t want to know EVERYTHING about them!
On a recent evening, Mulder and I were going out to dinner. My son was in his room. He usually has the door closed and locked. I went out to the car while his father went to ask him if he wanted to join us. When Mulder came out, he was laughing. I wanted to know what was so funny. Mulder, bless his sick little heart, told me.
Apparently our son, my sweet little baby boy, was jerking off to internet porn! His door was locked but not closed tightly and when Mulder knocked, the door opened. Mulder (I would have paid money to see the look on his face) was confronted by the sight of wild monkey sex on the computer and his son wanking away blissfully.
My appetite was gone, some things a mother doesn’t want or need to know.
