Monday, May 31, 2010

Memorial Day

It is the
 not the preacher,
 who has given us freedom of religion.

It is
 not the reporter,
  who has given us freedom of the press.

It is
 not the poet,
who has given us freedom of speech.
It is
not the campus organizer,
who has given us freedom to assemble. 
It is
 not the lawyer,
who has given us the right to a fair trial.

It is
 not the politician,
Who has given us the right to vote.

It is

the VETERAN who 
salutes the Flag,

It is 
who serves 
under the Flag, 

Sunday, May 30, 2010

Sunday Funnies!

funny pictures of cats with captions

*Click on the picture to get the full view, please!*

Lady Sorrow sent me this as a postcard recently.  It totally made my day when I received it.

It also made me think about weird vibrators and dildos.  Here's a few of the ones I found (I also own a couple!)

Hello! Kitty Vibe from Babeland    

Golden Triangle's TRIPLE TREAT

The vibrator is a detailed like a sarcophagus with an anal dildo tail and an odd lion-ish clit stimulator with a beard.  What drugs the Chinese designer was on, I'd love to know!

You plug this into a USB port. 

I imagine it could definitely come in handy.

For more weird stuff, go HERE and HERE

Saturday, May 22, 2010

Sunday Funnies

How to wash a toilet~

This was simply too much of a time saver not to share it with you!

1. Put both lids of the toilet up
and add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the water in the bowl.

2. Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.

3. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close the lid.
(You may need to stand on the lid.)

4. The cat will self agitate and make ample suds.
(Never mind the noises that come from the toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this.)

5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a 'power-wash' and rinse'.

6. Have someone open the front door of your home. Be sure that there are no people between the bathroom and the front door.

7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift the lid.

8. The cat will rocket out of the toilet, streak through the bathroom, and run outside where he will dry himself off.

9. Both the commode and the cat will be sparkling clean!



(get your mouse in the act, rollover the dog!)

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Relax! --- Product Review

In the world of adult and/or sex blogs, not everything is always about sex.  We don’t want to become immune to the pleasures of erotic writing, porn, vibrators and butt plugs, do we? 
The fact that I’m feeling about as horny as a frozen fish stick right now might have a bit to do with my desire not to review another “sex toy” right now.  So, I’m not going to.  I’m going to tell you about three products by Jimmyjane that can be used together or separately to soothe, comfort, soften and relax.  Now, I don’t want you to think that these products, so graciously supplied by Babeland are not sexy, they most definitely are!  When used by you or your significant other for erotic massage, you are going to want to use them ALL the time – for sexual as well as non-sexual healing, my dear readers.
Being an esthetician, I’m allowed to “apply product” to a clients hands, arms, shoulders and neck. I use “massage like” application movements.  In Florida, this is what is permitted by my license.  Professionally, I can only do facial massage.  I want my client to have a totally, utterly and completely relaxing/rejuvenating facial experience so when doing the “product application” to the hands, arms, shoulders, I use products that I consider decadent.  Jimmyjane’s “Afterglow” Natural Massage Oil Candle, “Beyond” Sensational Massage Lotion and Contour I Ceramic Massage Stone, fit my criteria to an absolute T.
Prior to my client coming in, I light the Afterglow candle to allow it time to melt sufficiently and perfume the room air.  I have the Black Current scent and it is heavenly!  Not too fruity and/or sweet, the fragrance is good for men and women.  The candle is paraffin and lead free. It contains spa grade botanicals along with Jojoba, Shea Butter, Vitamin E, Soy and Aloe.  I’ve used other massage candles that are not this quality and have been very disappointed.  The Jimmyjane Afterglow is not waxy and applies like a dream.  I use the enclosed brush to apply the product to my client’s décolleté, arms and hands.  You do not need a lot of the massage oil from this candle to achieve the desired effect.  It’s smooth, creamy, smells fabulous, is warm and lets my hands knead and massage with ease. It also absorbs beautifully and without leaving a greasy feeling on the skin.  Clients will ask me for “the candle oil” now.
Beyond “Euphoric” by Jimmyjane is deliciously luxurious.  I love the way it applies and allows me to just glide my hands over the client’s skin.  Beyond moistures without being oily.  It’s fragranced lightly so it works both for men and women.  Many massage lotions and oils are too “greasy” and are specifically fragranced for women.  Men’s lotions and oils get under fragranced and just aren’t pleasant so I’m really pleased with Beyond.  So are my male clients who don’t want to leave smelling like gardenias!  The natural botanical extracts in Euphoric helps release beta-endorphins that help with relaxation, pain reduction and general well-being.
Like Beyond “Warming” and “Cooling”, “Euphoric” contains no parabens, glycerin or synthetic fragrances.  Whether you’re going to go for a straight massage or an erotic one, both the Beyond Sensational Massage Lotions and the Afterglow Natural Massage Oil Candle, are items you’re going to absolutely need.

In conjunction with both the candle and the massage lotion, I used a Jimmyjane  Contour I Ceramic Massage stone.  This little bar-bell shaped stone can be used heated or chilled.  It can be rolled or used as a trigger point massager.  It can also be used with the Contour M Stone for a fantastic full-body massager.  When I use the Contour I, I use it in place of traditional knuckle rolls on the backside of the shoulders and the back of the neck.  I use it gently heated and it allows me to apply a nice firm pressure where my clients need it most.  On one heavier client, I used it to roll up and down their upper arm, much to their delight, judging by the contented moans!  I like this stone so much for the neck and shoulder area that I’m going to purchase the Jimmyjane Contour Ceramic Massage Stones Q, which are two palm size stones with different textures.  I’ll use these on all my clients’ arms, palms and on the soles of their feet. 
To say that I love all the Jimmyjane products from Babeland is an understatement.  They are high-quality, well made products that anyone can enjoy in a variety of ways.  And that, my friends, is totally sexy! 
Afterglow fragrances ~. Milk Chocolate, Cucumber Water, Dark Vanilla, Black Currant, Fig Leaf, Pink Louts,
Bourbon.   All positively delicious!

Sunday, May 16, 2010

Sunday Funnies

funny pictures of cats with captions
see more Lolcats and funny pictures

  "Lady GaGa is proof that David Bowie raped Carol Burnett." ~ Christopher Titus, comedian

Sundays always suck for me.  My depression worsens and I loathe the thought of work on Monday.  Yeah, yeah.  I know.  "You're lucky you have a job ... blah, blah, blah."   Well, I'm sick to death of having to work at a job I hate just because I need money to pay the fucking bills.  I've have worked every damn year - EVERY DAMN YEAR - since 1969 and I am so fucking weary, I can't even tell you.  So, (where was I?) Oh, yes!  I'm going to find something I find funny during the week and share it with y'all on Sunday.  K?

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Sucker Punch

WTF? That was my reaction after reading a snarky mention of a fellow blogger during my recent reading rounds.  It pissed me right the hell off.

Since the comment is still bothering me, I decided to vent about it here because it’s my blog and that’s what I want to do.  You have the right to make a comment about what I say.  You can tell me to get fucked, you can sympathize with me – you have the right to say whatever the hell it is you want because my comments are open and I’m asking for your feedback – right, wrong, indifferent.  Is this a great thing or what? But to have a snide comment made about you when you're just minding your own business (blog) isn't right.

When we write a public blog, we are putting ourselves out there for kisses and/or kicks.  Some of us are extremely popular (not Heather Armstrong popular) but we get lots of comments, have scads of “followers”, are listed on many Blog Rolls.  Others are here plugging away hoping to entertain others and themselves.  It’s all good.  I read many different types of blogs and it is ALL good.  For the most part.

When I saw the remark, that, in my opinion, was totally uncalled for, it gave me pause – maybe it isn’t all good.  That makes me angry and sad.  It also boiled down to the fact that after much thought the only reason the statement was made was because of jealousy. That made me madder and sadder. I thought we were all in this together.  I thought we were friends.  I guess I was naïve enough to think that since every blog I read is written by adults, well over 21, that all the Jr. High drama was long past.  Pathetically, it isn’t.

My name should have been changed to Pollyanna because I thought it was normal to help each other – emotionally, technically, spiritually and even financially.  We gave aid however we were able. We are/were a community.  While Blogland is a HUGE community, it’s the little circles of communities that run within the big machine that makes blogging fun, exciting and even amazingly educational.  What is the point of snarkyness and jealousy when we are all doing our best?   To me, there is no point.  We know each other but yet we don’t really know each other, if you understand what I mean.  But … we are all blogging, we are all writing about our lives, feelings, emotions, fantasies, etc. for ourselves and each other.  I embrace that sense of community.I thought others did the same.

The bloggers I’m writing about do what I’m mentioned – they help, they entertain, they write well, they aren’t Hitler supporters, they don’t write about horrible, sick things like "crushing".  They are, from their writings, good people who care a lot about their family, readers, the blog community and the world in general.  Why the fuck make random, unprovoked, nasty, out of the blue comments about one another?
When you write publically and leave your comments open you are inviting any and all types of comments.  When you do nothing but blog and do the right thing for yourself and your readers, you don’t deserve to smacked upside the head because someone gets their tits in a twist because you have more readers and/or followers.

Rant over.  Thank you.

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Check this out!

The incredible ZOMBIES & TOYS has done a feature on my Zombie Mommies! (squeee!)

Please go take a look and enter the contest to win your very own Zombie Mommie! Z&T also has some other great giveaways going on. ENTER! 'k?

Saturday, May 8, 2010

Happy Mother's Day!


Good Vibrations is doing some good stuff for sexy moms!

Free products and special offers this weekend only!

And just because this is a favorite of mine ~

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Undead Bazaar from Zombies & Toys

Now, I know that y'all might not be into zombies as much as I am but this fantastic website/blog - ZOMBIES & TOYS is doing a month long feature on people that handcraft zombies and zombie related products.  Please go take a peek.  

My Zombie Mommies will be one of the products featured!  (Shameless self-promotion!)

Buy Handmade

Several other Etsy Dark Team members will also be high-lighted during ZOMBIE & TOYS Undead Bazaar in May!


Sunday, May 2, 2010


"Show Us Your Boobs!"  Let's see if we can really affect nature, ladies!  

The always stimulating SOUTHERN SAGE is holding his own BOOB-QUAKE tomorrow.  Send pictures of your boobs, tits, ta-tas to Sage at ~

While I'm on the subject of Sage, a lovely blogger named Beryl from Points of Return, wrote a really nice post about our sexy, Oh!SO! Republican, smart, cowboy.  Hit it HERE!

I like what I see over at Beryl's place and I'll be adding her to my favorite reads list.

Hurry up, get those pictures to Sage, baby!