Monday, May 21, 2012

Flying to see a very dear friend!

My friend, that I've known since grade school, sent me a ticket to come visit her.  I'm goin' even though I have to fly and then take a bus to get to where she lives!

*** click the picture to make bigger so you can read what I wrote! ***

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Fear of Farts

I come from a long line of "closet" farters. We DO NOT EVER fart in the company of others.  My family are also very polite belchers. We hide our time gaseous esophageal eruptions behind a closed mouth with a dainty hand in front of our lips. And we always say, "Excuse me." 

Should anything monumental start rumbling from stomach to mouth or God Forbid! - churning and threatening to escape from our bowels, we run like the wind to the "closet".  I kid you not!  I don't even recall my nephews farting or letting loose a rip-roaring burp in front of me even when they were the age that farts and burps would've been hysterical! 

Fear of public farting brings me to the reason for this post.  In my never ending effort to get fit, I started doing yoga.  Have y'all ever done yoga?  When watching professional yoga practitioners, the movements are graceful and fluid.  Those yogis have no body fat, no jiggly bits and have perfected inner peace.  They also, apparently, have a spiritual way of controlling their farts.  I believe that this last part is the most important thing I must learn.

While I know that flatulence is natural, I'm unable to get to the point where it feels fine to let one rip in a roomful of people.  Especially strangers.  Yoga tends to stretch and bend the body in a variety of unnatural positions. The accomplished yogi looks beautiful doing these gruesome healthful postures.  I, on the other hand, look like the Michelin Man after Thanksgiving dinner.  My muscles rebel, my ligaments scream, my diaphragm contorts, my brain doesn't know what to do with all the blood rushing into it, and my intestines twist and turn, threatening to expel whatever gas may be lurking in there out into the atmosphere of the room.

All the while I'm pretzeling myself into, "child's pose", "down dog" and "half-moon", my butt cheeks are tightly clenched.  They are locked together even during my favorite pose - "corpse pose", just in case. 

I'm able to let go of the day and get the tension out during the class.  I'm able to stretch and release different muscles, albeit with some difficulty, but I'm NEVER going to be able to let go or release a public fart.  Should one escape, despite my best efforts, I can always take Zumba.

Friday, May 11, 2012

A Crafty Club

Community Forum Discussions - Adult
Community at EdenFantasys 

Did y'all know that EDEN FANTASYS has clubs?

Not only can you buy all sorts of toys, lingerie and other sexy goodies from Eden Fantasys but you can be part of their community, meeting others that share not only your sex positive views but reading, writing, blogging, causes and even craftiness!

I'm a member of the Eden Fantasys Arts & Crafts club.  We recently did an ATC swap.  ATC's are original works of art about the size of a baseball card.  You can make ATC's (Artists Trading Cards) with any medium. They're really cool to use as thank you cards, gift tags, or just to collect.  They're also a great way to introduce your talent to other artists or prospective buyers.

These are the ATC's I received in the swap ~

 The Corpse Bride is done in colored pastels - GORGEOUS!!!
 I just adore The Corpse Bride! (Like that's a surprise!)  The one on the right is a manipulated photograph.  The caption definitely speaks to me.  The third is a mixed media card sorta like a mini scrapbook page.  Aren't these fantastic? Because of Eden Fantasys Arts & Crafts Club, I have some amazing original artwork and some new friends that are also crafty/artistic and obviously a wee bit dark, like me!

 I'm also a member of the Eden Bloggers Club.  Both clubs have given me valuable information about things I'm particularly interested in. Plus the clubs are a good way to network.

That Eden Fantasys has developed an entire community with forums, maintains them and has knowledgeable moderators in each group, is pretty damn awesome.  A company that does all this and more for their customers is definitely a company I support.

EF also has some luscious bath & body products.  This Shunga Garden of Edo Organic set is one I want to get my hands on! 

(Eden Fantasys will provide me with a gift card in exchange for my post.)

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Rocked My Face Off!

Chad Kroeger 

I had a plan for last week.  I was going to visit blogs every night, comment, answer comments, write but you know, "The best laid plans of mice and men ..."  

Monday I found out that I was going to see NICKELBACK!!!  That's right, folks - NICKELFUCKINGBACK!!!  (I'm going to miss Riff Dog's pithy comment about this.)  My fairy godfather got me some kick ass seats so I was more than a bit discombobulated all week.  I know y'all will forgive me 'cause that's how you roll.

My daughter went with me on Saturday.  She is a Bush fan from way back.  Bush was one of the support bands along with My Darkest Days and Seether.  It was the BEST concert I've been to in a long time.

 We made a day of it going to the Sawgrass Mills Mall, having lunch and just walking around.  It was one of those days where the "back pack" felt almost empty.

Gavin Rossdale

Nickelback's Flying Stage

Chad Kroeger, again.  YUM!

The mall was hosting a "Paint A Gator" art show.  I really liked this Wonder Woman Gator.

Now that the hot, sexy, young Rock Star high I've been on is wearing off, I hope to pack a whole week of stuff into a couple of days later this week before the Johnny Depp "Dark Shadows" high kicks in.  My daughter is taking me to see the movie on Sunday for Mother's Day!

Tangent Alert!  I started reading "Fifty Shades of Grey".  I haven't gotten that far into the book yet but I need to say that I'm more than disappointed in the quality of writing.  I'm not a literary expert but I do read quite a bit.  I've read much better writing on blogs and in forums.  I'll wait until I've gotten further into the book to say anymore but if the writing continues to remind me of a middle-school diary, I'm going to be more sad about the state of the world than I am now.

Thursday, May 3, 2012

Weird Girls Rock!

 Welcome to my second posting for May Monster Madness, a blog hop hosted by ANNIE WALLS, LITTLE GOTHIC HORRORS and SOMETHING WICKED THIS WAY COMES.  I hope y'all will take some time and visit some (ALL!) of the participating blogs.

Girls that are into horror, monsters, Goth, spooky and weird stuff today are lucky as hell!  Back in the dark-ages of the 1950's-'60's, a girl couldn't get much more than Barbie, Betsy Wetsy or Thumbelina.  Very traditional and not the least bit scary unless you gave Betsy Wetsy red Kool-Aid to drink.

We could watch "The Addams Family" and "The Munsters" on TV but back then, getting dolls or action figures of Wednesday or Lily wasn't possible.  FAO Schwartz did make a Wednesday Addams cloth doll but she wasn't all that spectacular.  She certainly didn't resemble Lisa Loring in the slightest.  Altering Barbie to look like Morticia didn't work very well because when you took that ponytail down, the rest of her head was BALD!  My mother also didn't appreciate me trying to dye her blonde hair black with shoe polish.  It was a bleak time for us weird/strange girls.  The only exception was Dam Dolls (Trolls).  Goddess!  I adored my troll dolls.  I actually still have my originals.
Today, it's a wonderland for those girls that like the darker side of life 
and dolls - Living Dead Dolls, Monster High Dolls, Twilight Dolls and even Harry Potter Dolls for those gals with a wee bit of darkness!  Even the Queen of Dolls, Madame Alexander, went for the cookies and made Addams Family dolls, a "Psycho" doll and a "The Birds" doll! It's enough to make me want a time machine.

Since time machines don't exist (YET!) and I'm all grown-up and have a job, I delighted my inner "child of woe" over the years, acquiring some Living Dead Dolls, (my favorites are the Edgar Allan Poe and Annabel Lee set) and Madame Alexander's "The Birds" doll.  "The Birds" is one of my all time favorite movies from childhood.  I had a slightly twisted babysitter who took me to my first movie, "Psycho", as well as "The Birds".  I loved her deeply.  I also thought Alfred Hitchcock would make a fine grandfather.  But, that's another story!

I've asked my kids and Mulder to pool their resources to get me one or two Monster High Dolls for my birthday.  I need to do some research on where the best place is to get them online because I understand the minute they hit the stores, they are sold out.

I think that the popularity of dolls like this is kinda telling.  Tells me that girls aren't afraid of being different, they are embracing it.  They want to look fantastic, be special, be strong and smart and be able to kick-ass right along with the guys.  Perhaps in letting them enjoy their differences instead of feeling "weird", bullying and girls growing up with shame about their looks, will cease to be such a huge problem. That wouldn't be weird at all!

Note ~ My daughter gave me this "The Birds" Barbie last Mother's Day.  She's definitely a Barbie I can love!