Spam-A-Lot

 

 Do you ever read your "spam" comments? It's not like I don't have anything else to do but I read mine before I delete them.  They are ALWAYS from Anonymous (DUH!) and some are quite funny.  Here's a selection of the ones I liked the best along with my own comments ~

Everyone who plays the flute should learn singing.

What do y'all think? Any flute players out there? Can you sing? If not, do you think you should take lessons? Personally, I think being able to play any instrument is amazing whether you can sing or not.

Hello. You are a moderator or an administrator, and you see this message? Remove it please. Sorry for the trouble :)

I removed it in a New York minute.

As it was, I realized choosing the study of Chinese literature as my life's work was probably a mistake.

Ya think! Seriously, unless you're Chinese you definitely wasted your parents money on college.

The best careers advice to give to the your is “Find out what you like doing best and get someone to pay you for doing it.”

No shit, Sherlock! Problem is, I couldn't find anyone to pay me to watch TV and sleep.

Hello, I new yours frient on this forum)

Ooooookay. I guess everyone can use more frients. I wonder if a frient is anything like an a lert?

Boy George is all England needs – another queen who can't dress.

A few decades late but you're right..

I'm looking to donate to help Japan? I'm so unhappy about what happened in Japan with the earthquake and tsunami and I genuinely wish to assist them through donation. Does anybody find out a website or anything where one can donate to assist Japan?

Obviously someones first visit to the internet.

Hello. And Bye.

Right back atcha!

Thanks for this dangerous tips. (On “Blog Awards” post)

Apparently this post is what got me booted from Commission Junction. Please don't report me to Homeland Security.

Thanks for you attention, delight by our situation. (Contained a URL)

Ya gotta love Babelfish. Not one bit of attention was paid and no.

On us now to grasp more poop and facts pertaining to URL

Grasping poop isn't something I'm into. I probably could direct you to a few sites where that sort of activity is going on.

Drop in on us infrequently to get more low-down and facts notwithstanding URL

Infrequently as in NEVER!

Rather interesting site you've got here. Thank you for it. I like such topics and anything that is connected to them. I would like to read more soon. Julia Benedict – URL

Thank you. You're welcome. I won't be visiting your site but y'all come back anytime.

Hello Everyone! I like watching BBC Football online.

Really! Who gives a shit?

117513

I played these numbers in the Lottery hoping for a Hurley moment, you know like the Universe sending me a message. I'm still working so the Universe's message was a it usually is ~ Fuck You!

Men may meet but mountains never.

Men are mobile (sometimes - not during baseball, football, basketball or hockey season), mountains aren't – you did the math, genius!

Hi, I am newbie. This is my frist post … lol, say hello to all.

Say "Hi!" to another “frist”, everyone!

Can I post here some advertisement links for free? If not – plz delete this post.

Free advertising. Seriously? (I couldn't hit delete fast enough.)

Howdy, a colleague just said to me about this online community so I believed I would occur and take a appear and also present myself, Appears a fantastic website with a lot of extra participants!

I have no colleagues that say, “Howdy”, no any that can occur. But it is a fantastic site with wonderful "participants", if I do say so myself.

Hey, im new here. Im sam, how is everyone? I look forwards to being a active member.

Do you like green eggs and ham?

GREAT publish and impressive in turn ...will bear a try all the tips … Thanks … URL

My blog is GREAT and impressive to spammers who want to try all my tips. How fucking awesome is this!?! First tip – LEAVE MY GODDAMN BLOG ALONE!

Memorial Day 2011

 

 As I approach the gates of heaven;
St. Peter I will tell;
One more soldier reporting sir;
I've served my time in hell.

-Mark Anthony Gresswell

GUSH - DVD Review

 

Being “g-spot” challenged, I was very pleased to be able to review the new DVD from Good Vibrations Sex-Ed series, GUSH.

In my opinion, this extremely well done DVD is an absolute MUST HAVE for women and men who want to know everything they need to about the g-spot and female ejaculation.  It’s invaluable both as an educational tool and a stimulating visual aid.

Dr. Carol Queen, Good Vibrations resident Sexologist first presents the material in a “call-in” format with the adorable Michelle Meow, answering questions in a logical, down to earth manner that is just perfect. She talks about types of toys, fingers, positions, etc.  Her talk sessions are interspersed with some very sexy, erotic scenes of real couples looking for and finding the g-spot and experiencing “squirting”.  There’s also a very arousing scene with Jiz Lee that definitely produced some dampness in this reviewers panties!

I learned a lot from GUSH.  Not only the best way to locate the g-spot but to know that female ejaculate isn’t urine.  It’s been proven scientifically!  Some of the points that  Dr. Queen kept driving home is that it’s okay if you don’t have vaginal/g-spot orgasms, not every woman will “squirt” and to have fun, LOTS OF FUN, while you are looking for your g-spot.  Also, the g-spot isn’t like a magic button that once it’s found and “pushed” the right way, you’ll experience orgasm like never before.  She tells us we are all different and that’s the way it should be.  What is fantastic sex for me, may not be for you, and that is perfectly fine. If you've ever had doubts that you or your partner weren't doing things “right”, you really need to get this DVD.

The extras on GUSH are also totally excellent.  You get Dr. Carol Queen debunking some myths about sex, g-spots and “gushing”.  Seriously, I want to invite this woman to dinner and just talk, talk, talk.  She is just fantastic.  There is also a slide show by Sheri Winston, RN, that delves into the anatomical and physical side of the g-spot and female ejaculation.  Did y’all know that a woman has as much erectile tissue in her genitalia as a man?  One of the brilliant pieces of information I learned from the slide show.
GUSH also has the scenes as a stand alone extra.  So after you’ve absorbed all the information that Good Vibrations has given you on the DVD, you can lie back with a favorite toy or partner and put all that knowledge to pleasurable work!

After having the privilege of being able to watch and write about GUSH, I believe I’ll be looking into getting the other DVD’s that Good Vibrations has available in the series.  After all, when it comes to having GREAT sex, you can’t have too much information!  For more fabulous information on the g-spot, check out Good Vibrations G-Spot Education Page.


Good Vibrations Pleasure Ed series.

Fathers and Substitutes, part 1

My father died on his 60^th birthday. It was a normal December morning.  I got ready for school, he got ready for work. My mother drove him to the train station as she had each morning for his ride into the city. From what I was told, he got to his office, told someone he wasn’t feeling well and asked for water. The co-worker returned with the water and found my father dead on the floor.  An autopsy revealed he died from a massive heart attack, a conclusive coronary. Although my father died before 10:00 am, my mother and my future step-father (more about him later) didn't tell me until after I had attended a Christmas party with a friend. I'd went through the school day and had fun at the party while my father lay in a New York City morgue.

Since I was only seven years old at the time, the full import of his death and the subsequent happenings weren’t what I was thinking about.  I only knew my daddy wasn’t coming back.  It was the first time I questioned and then doubted the concept of God. The thought that another young girl, in her late teens or early twenties was also going to miss her father never entered my head during that time and for years afterward. When I was 19 I found out that my father had been married before and had another daughter. The divorce from her mother had been acrimonious. I'm clueless as to whether or not my father kept in contact with his other daughter. I know I never met her, nor do I have any recollection of meeting my paternal grandparents. I do know that her name was Dorothy. Did she marry? Was she still in New York? Did she know about me? I'll never know now. 1972 was long before the internet was invented. My mother and half-sister had very little information about her or my father's first wife. She would be in her 70's if she were still alive.

My father was a salesman. At the time of his death, he was top salesman for a woolen mill in New York City.  He was a champion roller skater and bowler.  He was such an elegant and skilled skater that he gave lessons.  I unfortunately did not inherit that coordination or grace.  To me, he was a quiet, somber man that expressed his love with material things, not hugs and kisses.  I was a very late in life child.  Both he and my mother, I believe, just weren’t really sure what to do with a baby/child at their age. When I learn about “older” parents, I cringe. Even though I know that more mature men and women of this era will probably not be at all like my parents, I just don’t think having a baby at 45 and 53 is good, especially if there are no close siblings.  My knowledge of my father is limited.  My mother was secretive to the extreme and my half-sister has offered very little in the way of enlightenment that was unbiased.

One thing I do know for certain, father was a chronic alcoholic. This could have attributed to him being known by his first name and treated like a rock star at several well know New York City establishments like Luchow's. Also at a couple local restaurants that had full bars and where I spent many an evening with my parents.  My mother, while not an alcoholic, never met a Manhattan she didn’t like.  The fact that so many nights were spent in restaurants is why I believe I can’t remember my mother cooking things other than Kraft Macaroni & Cheese, hamburgers and creamed potatoes.  I survived the rides home with a tipsy driver (my mother) and sloshed father - filled with restaurant food, second-hand smoke and Shirley Temples.  Life seemed okay. The fact that my parents were “old” didn't matter much when I was a child.

It wasn’t until after my father died when my half-sister, brother-in-law and infant nephew moved in with my mother and me that I began to wonder a bit about my family.  I found, looking back on things, that although I had no way to express what I was feeling, I just KNEW things were off more than a wee bit.

With a built in babysitter, my mother went back to work.  She also was apparently a man magnet (and had been since she was young!) because she started dating.  DATING! I was about 8 years old and MY MOTHER. WAS. DATING. It didn’t really hit me that she was going out with having a grand ole’ time with men until she brought Johnny Ballard home to meet me.

Mother's Day Gift

Yesterday, my son gave me flowers.  After I recovered from the fainting spell, my daughter made dinner and showed me this ~






You're welcome!

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!

To all you HOT rockin' mamas ~

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!

PinUps Bullet Vibe Review

I totally love bullet vibes!  For me, I need direct and constant clitoral stimulation in order to orgasm.  What’s better for that then a multi-speed, powerful bullet vibe? Nothing. Well, maybe a guy with fingers that never tire!

BABELAND recently got the PIN UPS VIBE  into their extensive inventory and was kind enough to send me one to review.  I’d seen this adorable bullet vibrator during the holiday season and lusted after it since.  Look at it!  Isn’t it just too freakin’ cute?

I’m delighted that it includes a wee tin of “arousal” balm, comes with a spare battery and all three fit perfectly into the sweet storage tin that you can tuck into your purse for on-the-go O’s and/or leave it on the nightstand because it’s just so pretty and petite, it doesn’t need to hidden away. It's also not very noisy even though it's pretty damn powerful. The Bombshell Balm has some really nice ingredients – sweet almond oil, shea butter, peppermint oil, among other botanicals.

Nancy” is the one I received from BABELAND. It’s silver (metallic coat ABS), a little over 3”long, with a textured finish.  The push-button switch in the bottom turns the vibe on, up through the three vibration levels and then off.   I like the length of the bullet because not only can you get it right on your clit but you can also snuggle the vibe between your labia for some rockin’ vibrations that reverberate into your vagina. The fact that it is fairly long for a bullet and slim makes it easy to use in conjunction with a vibrator or dildo and with a partner.

I applied some of the arousal balm to my clit in preparation. (The vibe is safe to use with water based and silicone lubes, too). The balm is a good texture, not too greasy and has a fairly nice fragrance.  I’ve used other clit plumping/arousal products and this one is just okay, not great.  Leaning back against some pillows, I teased my clit and labia with the vibe on its medium setting.  It wasn’t very long before I grabbed a vibrator to add some internal stimulation and powered up the PIN-UP to high for a completely satisfying orgasm.  As a matter of fact, I liked it so much and so my research was thorough, I went for another!  Since the first two were so damn good, I figured a third was necessary. You know, just to be absolutely sure.

Even though the package states the vibe is waterproof, I took care with cleaning. I sprayed it with a toy cleaner and wiped it off with a clean cloth. Easy, peasy!

The PIN-UPS VIBE is definitely worth getting either for you or for a gift.  I think it’s darn near perfect as far as bullet vibes go.

Obscene! Violent! Illegal! And that's not all!

Dear nitebyrd:

XXXXXX XXXXX has determined that you are promoting advertisers on a site (or possibly multiple sites) that contains objectionable content (including, but not limited to content that is misleading, libelous, defamatory, obscene, violent, bigoted, hate-oriented, illegal, and/or promoting illegal goods, services or activities). Such conduct is in violation of the XXXXXX XXXXX

As a result of the above-described violation, you have been removed from the XXXXXXX XXXXXX Network, transactions may be reversed ("charged-back"), and any attempt to rejoin the XXXXXXX XXXXXX Network shall be null and void.If you have questions regarding this notice, please reply to this email using the provided reply-to address and leave the subject line intact.

  

We don't like sex and violins!



If you look at my blog roll and/or my book selection from Amazon, it's obvious that I'm not a one note reader. That being said, not only do I like diversification in reading material, I like it in my life, my thoughts, my art, etc. Apparently, one company I had an affiliation with was unhappy with my eclectic tastes. Even after over a year of having a relationship with them and the company having to approve my site prior to forming any relationship, they recently divorced me.

Now, the fact that this company dropped me from it's affiliate program isn't what has me angry. What has burned my ass more than a two-foot fire is that my other affiliate programs and/or the causes I support haven't changed much in the three-plus years I've been blogging. My blog roll has seen some additions and subtractions but I haven't added any “I Love Hitler” blogs or “How To Murder Your Mother” blogs. Nor have I formed any affiliations with companies that support pillage, rape and murder.

Let's see, what could it possibly be that they deemed atrocious enough to ban me for life -

• They don't approve of same sex marriage or equality.
• They don't think that young people should be educated about HIV/AIDS or sex.
• They don't like sex positive sites that sell quality toys, DVD's and other sexual products.
• They don't like craftspeople and/or artists.
• They don't like words like fuck, cock, pussy.
• They don't like zombies. 
• They don't like preventing/curing breast cancer.

Cookie Monster is PC, he didn't say "cock"

If they don't like any one of the above, then good riddance and don't let the door hit 'em in the ass. Whatever the reason, I don't give a shit. It's not like I make a living from my affiliations. I just like certain companies, books, movies, TV shows, etc. and want to share. 

Most bloggers have some type of affiliate and/or sponsor accounts. Some do make a living from them. More power to them. I like to do reviews about products (DILDOS! VIBRATORS! RESTRAINTS! Oh! MY!) and give an honest opinion. I think reading reviews is helpful especially when you're buying something online. That you can get an honest opinion from fellow bloggers - of all types - is extremely helpful when wanting to purchase a vibrator, body lotion, dildos, perfume, cock rings, lingerie or a variety of other items via the internet.

This whole debacle brings me to another ass-burner. A great “mommy blogger”, Babes Rockin' Mami, is a young mother, happily married, a fellow Etsyian and great writer who happens to review sex toys every so often. Now toys and such aren't the only thing she reviews but it's probably the only thing she gets a bunch of shit for by some of the people that read and comment on her blog. ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS!?! What is wrong with people? This is a woman that is smart and worldly who knows that toys don't mean you're a “loose woman” or slut. Using toys to enhance your relationship with your partner or yourself is fucking NORMAL, you righteous pin-head, tight-ass idiots!!! 

*WHEW!*

Sorry. This is what happens when one is wound tighter than a old-fashioned watch and a spring pops.  Rant over. Thank you for listening.

 Sex, Drugs, Rock & Roll, dude!

Go have a look over at Babes Rockin' Mami, you'll like her. I do, although that recommendation could prove dangerous!

I did not publish the name of the affiliate company but if y'all want to know it, email me.  nitebyrds@gmail.com

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

This is exactly why I don't give a flying fuck about moronic affiliate programs.  An absolutely fabulous writer, blogger, woman, poet - INDI, loves me!