Sunday, October 25, 2009

Randomness

While I'm composing my Chicago post and handling some RL shit, I thought I'd post a little randomness to entertain y'all while I'm dealing.  Enjoy!

















What kind of job do you think she has?                         Ouch!

            
The Philosophy of Ambiguity

FOR THOSE WHO LOVE THE PHILOSOPHY OF AMBIGUITY, AS WELL AS THE


IDIOSYNCRASIES OF ENGLISH:




1. DON'T SWEAT THE PETTY THINGS AND DON'T PET THE SWEATY THINGS.


2. ONE TEQUILA, TWO TEQUILA, THREE TEQUILA, FLOOR.


3. ATHEISM IS A NON-PROPHET ORGANIZATION.


4. IF MAN EVOLVED FROM MONKEYS AND APES, WHY DO WE STILL HAVE MONKEYS AND APES?


5. THE MAIN REASON THAT SANTA IS SO JOLLY IS BECAUSE HE KNOWS WHERE ALL THE BAD GIRLS LIVE.


6.. I WENT TO A BOOKSTORE AND ASKED THE SALESWOMAN, "WHERE'S THE SELF- HELP SECTION?" SHE SAID IF SHE TOLD ME, IT WOULD DEFEAT THE PURPOSE.


7. WHAT IF THERE WERE NO HYPOTHETICAL QUESTIONS?


8. IF A DEAF CHILD SIGNS SWEAR WORDS, DOES HIS MOTHER WASH HIS HANDS WITH SOAP?


9. IF SOMEONE WITH MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES THREATENS TO KILL HIMSELF, IS IT CONSIDERED A HOSTAGE SITUATION?


10. IS THERE ANOTHER WORD FOR SYNONYM?


11. WHERE DO FOREST RANGERS GO TO "GET AWAY FROM IT ALL?"


12. WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU SEE AN ENDANGERED ANIMAL EATING AN ENDANGERED PLANT?


13. IF A PARSLEY FARMER IS SUED, CAN THEY GARNISH HIS WAGES?


14. WOULD A FLY WITHOUT WINGS BE CALLED A WALK?


15. WHY DO THEY LOCK GAS STATION BATHROOMS? ARE THEY AFRAID SOMEONE WILL CLEAN THEM?


16. IF A TURTLE DOESN'T HAVE A SHELL, IS HE HOMELESS OR NAKED?


17. CAN VEGETARIANS EAT ANIMAL CRACKERS?


18. IF THE POLICE ARREST A MIME, DO THEY TELL HIM HE HAS THE RIGHT TO
REMAIN SILENT?


19. WHY DO THEY PUT BRAILLE ON THE DRIVE-THROUGH BANK MACHINES?


20. HOW DO THEY GET DEER TO CROSS THE ROAD ONLY AT THOSE YELLOW ROAD SIGNS?


21. WHAT WAS THE BEST THING BEFORE SLICED BREAD?


22. ONE NICE THING ABOUT EGOTISTS: THEY DON'T TALK ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE.

23. DOES THE LITTLE MERMAID WEAR AN ALGEBRA?


24. DO INFANTS ENJOY INFANCY AS MUCH AS ADULTS ENJOY ADULTERY?


25. HOW IS IT POSSIBLE TO HAVE A CIVIL WAR?


26. IF ONE SYNCHRONIZED SWIMMER DROWNS, DO THE REST DROWN TOO?


27. IF YOU ATE BOTH PASTA AND ANTIPASTO, WOULD YOU STILL BE HUNGRY?


28. IF YOU TRY TO FAIL, A ND SUCCEED, WHICH HAVE YOU DONE?


29. WHOSE CRUEL IDEA WAS IT FOR THE WORD 'LISP' TO HAVE 'S' IN IT?


30. WHY ARE HEMORRHOIDS CALLED "HEMORRHOIDS" INSTEAD OF "ASSTEROIDS"?


31. WHY IS IT CALLED TOURIST SEASON IF WE CAN'T SHOOT AT THEM?


32. WHY IS THERE AN EXPIRATION DATE ON SOUR CREAM?


33. IF YOU SPIN AN ORIENTAL PERSON IN A CIRCLE THREE TIMES, DO THEY
BECOME DISORIENTED?

34. CAN AN ATHEIST GET INSURANCE AGAINST ACTS OF GOD?


Now you know you're gonna really think about a couple of those, arent' you?

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Home from The Windy City



Hi! I'm home!  I had a fantastic time in Chicago.  I'll need a few days to catch up on everyone's blogs and to get a post up.  Y'all need to know that bloggers and Nickelback fans are absolutely the BEST people on earth!

Friday, October 9, 2009

Awards

I've been given three blog awards recently.  *Squee!*



Southern Sage, that extremely sexy cowboy and political maven awarded me with the Dragon's Loyalty Award.  I love to read Sage's blog and do comment on a regular basis.  He's a good man and takes some steamy HNT pictures.  He likes me even though we're sometimes are at opposite ends of the political spectrum 'cause he knows I'm a republicrat.

I'd like to pass along this award to:

Ron at *VENT*
Indigo
Lady In Red
Sorrow
and Fire Byrd

* The sexy Steve at The Levi Store also saw fit to award me the Loyalty Award.  I'm so lucky to have such great bloggers to read and who come to read mine.  Thank you!

** The beautiful, sexy, funny, amazing Barefoot Dreamer bestowed the Award on me as well.  I'm humbled and speechless.  Thank you, beautiful!




Autumn and Morning Glory, those two Oh-So-Sexy-and-Smart-Babes, bestowed me with the You Are A Great Read! award.  The rules are I have to tell you ten things I do every day and then pass it to ten others.  So, here's 10 things I do every day:

1. Worry
2. Drink coffee
3. Meditate for a few minutes sending out positive thoughts and energy to those that need/want it.
4. Kiss my dog and rub his belly.
5. Swear at my crazy beagle.
6. Smoke
7. Bitch about not winning the lottery.
8. Read
9. Try to do something creative.
10. Sleep

Am I just a ball-o-fire or what?  Now these are some people that are really good reads and I love 'em.  Check them out if they aren't already
on your list!

1.  Apollo's Fire - I identify with him so much!
2. At Longing's End - Reading this blog makes me believe in true love.
3. Beyond The Birds and The Bees - Excellent blog for those of you with children and just an all around great read.
4. A Bit Player Reflects - What can I say about Spiky except she's AWESOME!
5. Brain Clouds and Memory Rain - A fellow zombie, with brilliant thoughts.
6. Joker - SATX - He definitely deserves this award for the second time.
7. Yes, I Am A Slut - Her adventures will make you hot and wet!
8. Jackie Adshead - An erotic artist and great writer.  You HAVE to see her paintings.
9. Northern Lights and Sleepless Nights - A love story.
10. Welcome to My Secret Spot - Great HNT pics and interesting, insightful posts.

That other HOT guy that wears jeans, Steve at The Levi Store, also gave me his coveted Gold Button Award for clever comments:




Thank you to Sage, Autumn, Morning Glory and Steve for thinking so much of my blog and me to give me these awards.  And THANK YOU! to everyone who comes by to read and/or lurk here.  MMMMMWAH!

BABELAND, that awesome toy store is donating 20% of the sale price of their PINK OCTOBER TOYS to fight BREAST CANCER this October.  Click on the links to see them and maybe get a nice surprise for the woman who's boobies you love or get something for yourself!






My daughter's team

I'm off on Thursday to visit a fellow blogger and a fellow Nickelback freak!  See ya!

Sunday, October 4, 2009

Breast Cancer Awareness Month

Battle agaist Breast Cancer


Keep watching this blog for my giveaway!





Saturday, October 3, 2009

I need to see this movie!



ZOMBIELAND