Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Is she sick or just a slut?

Seriously, WTF is wrong with this woman/girl?

Does she have an illness that causes uncontrollable tongue sticking out-itis?  I found this on LiveStrong ~


Macroglossia describes abnormal tongue enlargement. This condition can cause misalignment of the teeth and speech difficulties. The University of Maryland Medical Center reports that macroglossia often occurs with certain congenital or inherited conditions, including Down syndrome, Beckwith-Wiedemann syndrome, acromegaly, congenital hypothyroidism and primary amyloidosis. Macroglossia can also occur due to tongue swelling or abnormal tissue growth caused by a variety of disorders including multiple myeloma, sarcoidosis, tongue tumors and certain infections.

It doesn't mention that the affected might be a nasty, low-life, untalented tart, though.

Besides, Gene Simmons did/does it better and not nearly as often.

I haven't watched the VMA's since Rock & Roll died but being alive in our technological age means that you see things that you can never unsee like Miley Cyrus and every damn one of the Kardashians. I am just appalled at the pictures of this nasty bitch that are covering every square inch of the internet. You'll forgive me for sharing, won't you?

  From Millan.Net

Sunday, August 25, 2013

Monster Mad Lib Contest

 No, I'm not having the contest.  My imagination doesn't extend that far.  My favorite, NEWLYWED zombie girl,From Millan.Net IT'S ON RANDOM is holding the contest.  She and her husband are going to publish a coloring and activity book and the best MONSTER MAD LIB(S) will be featured in the book!  WOOHOO!

Go visit her blog to get all the rules, examples, etc. and then go get writing!  I know there are some absolutely fabulous writers that come visit me, here's your chance for immortality! (wink!)

From Millan.Net

Sunday, August 18, 2013

FML or Grand's Day Off

Ferris Bueller had a totally rockin’ day off – me not so much.

Last Friday, I took the day off work because my grandson had his 4-month check-up and his mom had a doctor’s appointment.  The appointments were both scheduled early in the morning and since the offices are right next door to each other, I figured I could get some stuff done the rest of the day.  Ah! The best laid plans of mice and grandmothers do quickly go awry!

Lemme give you the highlights.

Thursday at 6 pm, I took a swig of Z-Quil. I don’t sleep well because according to the sleep study I had done several years ago, I chase rabbits all night.  My legs never stop moving. (Apparently sleep running does nothing to build more shapely thighs. Sad.) I also snore like a drunken sailor. (True. I’ve woken myself up. Very embarrassing.)  Anyway, the Z-Quil is a lovely thing – I sleep like the dead.  Luckily, I was out by 9 pm ‘cause at 1:30 am, my rabbit pursuit was curtailed by my son loudly requesting I, “Come look at the baby’s arm.” Panic ensued.

Leaping out of bed, I went to their room to inspect said arm. There I found mom crying hysterically, my son pacing and baby happily sucking on his binky seemingly without a care in the world.  However, one look at me sent him into a crying fit.  His left arm wasn’t moving.  OMFG!!!!  His arm was pink and warm but bending it at the elbow intensified his crying.  Seems mom went to lay him in the crib, he stuck his arm out and it ended up twisted under him.  I decided a trip to the ER was in order.
That brought on more hysterics by both mom and dad thinking that baby would be snatched up by CMS or the men in black.  I told them both to calm down that it would be fine.  I also decided that coffee and nicotine were in order while the readied the baby.

After going in to wash up, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror.  I knew why the baby started to cry when he saw me.  I was terrifying.  I am so not a morning person. Especially 1:30 in the morning.

My thoughts were that since the weekend hadn’t really started that the ER would be fairly quiet a 2:15 am.  Wrong.  A double shooting in "the ‘hood| brought 2 ambulances, numerous friends, relatives and neighbors with children and dogs, and various police agencies to the hospital.  In my still semi-Z-Quil stupor, I forgot my coffee in the car but wasn’t allowed out of the ER until the “lockdown” was lifted.  This was not going well. 

exhausted photo: Exhausted exhausted.jpg

At approximately 3:05 am, stoner Doogie Howser, M.D. came to check the baby. He stretched, pulled and pushed his arm much to the baby’s discontent then ordered x-rays. I mentioned to him that my grandson’s shoulder or elbow might be dislocated but he being an M.D. and all, said that “nursemaid’s elbow” was more of a pulling injury, not a pushing one.  The x-ray tech showed up at 3:20 am. Doogie came back at 3:50 to inform us that all was well, no dislocations and it was probably just a bruise. Watch him and if it wasn’t better in the real morning, take him to the pediatrician.  Brilliant! (By the way, the charges for this excursion totaled $1,990.00!)

We arrived back home somewhere around 5:00 am. At that point, time had become irrelevant. Baby and mom went to bed while Mulder, my son and I drank some more coffee. Mulder and my son went off to work around 6:30 am and I took a much-needed shower.

At 8:30, I woke mom up.  She in turn got the baby up, fed, dressed and we were off to the doctor.  The pediatrician was told what had transpired in the wee morning hours. She took one look at the baby’s arm and said his elbow was dislocated.  She also wondered why the ER doctor didn’t see it on the x-ray.  Well, there was no answer for that, was there?  The doctor set about popping the baby’s elbow back in. This was not an enjoyable procedure – for baby, mom or grand.  Especially when our doctor couldn’t quite get it and she called in the other doctor.  OH! MY! GODS! I’m not sure who was crying harder, the baby, mom or me.  It was horrible!  I thought that since babies bones are soft that the procedure wouldn’t be too bad.  WRONG!
His trauma stopped once the elbow was realigned but he still wasn’t moving his arm. The doctors assured us he’d be A-OK shortly. We left after he was weighed, measured, inspected and injected.  Mom got her doctor’s visit over and it was time to head home. Or so I thought.

By now, I was damn near incoherent. I truly began to hear my bed calling to me. It was only 10:45 am.  Sleep would have to wait, though.  In all the confusion, I forgot that mom has also scheduled a dental appointment for that morning!  A trip to Starbucks was the only thing that saved me. Their regular coffee is like crack.

Finally arriving home at 1:30 pm on my much anticipated day off, I was too tired to do anything but watch some Law & Order: Criminal Intent re-runs and drift off to sleep to dream about becoming a recluse, alone in a mountain cabin.

Of course, when I see this face ~

 running away, sleeping, pressure, stress, all fade away and I realize that life - if not perfect - is okay.
From Millan.Net

Wednesday, August 7, 2013

What's been keeping me away ...

I've been making stuff like crazy 'cause I want to go to North Carolina in October. I NEED to see, smell and touch some autumn! 

Oh, yeah .... I didn't make this but he's been keeping me very busy! 

From Millan.Net