Sunday, August 18, 2013

FML or Grand's Day Off

Ferris Bueller had a totally rockin’ day off – me not so much.

Last Friday, I took the day off work because my grandson had his 4-month check-up and his mom had a doctor’s appointment.  The appointments were both scheduled early in the morning and since the offices are right next door to each other, I figured I could get some stuff done the rest of the day.  Ah! The best laid plans of mice and grandmothers do quickly go awry!

Lemme give you the highlights.

Thursday at 6 pm, I took a swig of Z-Quil. I don’t sleep well because according to the sleep study I had done several years ago, I chase rabbits all night.  My legs never stop moving. (Apparently sleep running does nothing to build more shapely thighs. Sad.) I also snore like a drunken sailor. (True. I’ve woken myself up. Very embarrassing.)  Anyway, the Z-Quil is a lovely thing – I sleep like the dead.  Luckily, I was out by 9 pm ‘cause at 1:30 am, my rabbit pursuit was curtailed by my son loudly requesting I, “Come look at the baby’s arm.” Panic ensued.

Leaping out of bed, I went to their room to inspect said arm. There I found mom crying hysterically, my son pacing and baby happily sucking on his binky seemingly without a care in the world.  However, one look at me sent him into a crying fit.  His left arm wasn’t moving.  OMFG!!!!  His arm was pink and warm but bending it at the elbow intensified his crying.  Seems mom went to lay him in the crib, he stuck his arm out and it ended up twisted under him.  I decided a trip to the ER was in order.
That brought on more hysterics by both mom and dad thinking that baby would be snatched up by CMS or the men in black.  I told them both to calm down that it would be fine.  I also decided that coffee and nicotine were in order while the readied the baby.

After going in to wash up, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror.  I knew why the baby started to cry when he saw me.  I was terrifying.  I am so not a morning person. Especially 1:30 in the morning.

My thoughts were that since the weekend hadn’t really started that the ER would be fairly quiet a 2:15 am.  Wrong.  A double shooting in "the ‘hood| brought 2 ambulances, numerous friends, relatives and neighbors with children and dogs, and various police agencies to the hospital.  In my still semi-Z-Quil stupor, I forgot my coffee in the car but wasn’t allowed out of the ER until the “lockdown” was lifted.  This was not going well. 

exhausted photo: Exhausted exhausted.jpg

At approximately 3:05 am, stoner Doogie Howser, M.D. came to check the baby. He stretched, pulled and pushed his arm much to the baby’s discontent then ordered x-rays. I mentioned to him that my grandson’s shoulder or elbow might be dislocated but he being an M.D. and all, said that “nursemaid’s elbow” was more of a pulling injury, not a pushing one.  The x-ray tech showed up at 3:20 am. Doogie came back at 3:50 to inform us that all was well, no dislocations and it was probably just a bruise. Watch him and if it wasn’t better in the real morning, take him to the pediatrician.  Brilliant! (By the way, the charges for this excursion totaled $1,990.00!)

We arrived back home somewhere around 5:00 am. At that point, time had become irrelevant. Baby and mom went to bed while Mulder, my son and I drank some more coffee. Mulder and my son went off to work around 6:30 am and I took a much-needed shower.

At 8:30, I woke mom up.  She in turn got the baby up, fed, dressed and we were off to the doctor.  The pediatrician was told what had transpired in the wee morning hours. She took one look at the baby’s arm and said his elbow was dislocated.  She also wondered why the ER doctor didn’t see it on the x-ray.  Well, there was no answer for that, was there?  The doctor set about popping the baby’s elbow back in. This was not an enjoyable procedure – for baby, mom or grand.  Especially when our doctor couldn’t quite get it and she called in the other doctor.  OH! MY! GODS! I’m not sure who was crying harder, the baby, mom or me.  It was horrible!  I thought that since babies bones are soft that the procedure wouldn’t be too bad.  WRONG!
His trauma stopped once the elbow was realigned but he still wasn’t moving his arm. The doctors assured us he’d be A-OK shortly. We left after he was weighed, measured, inspected and injected.  Mom got her doctor’s visit over and it was time to head home. Or so I thought.

By now, I was damn near incoherent. I truly began to hear my bed calling to me. It was only 10:45 am.  Sleep would have to wait, though.  In all the confusion, I forgot that mom has also scheduled a dental appointment for that morning!  A trip to Starbucks was the only thing that saved me. Their regular coffee is like crack.

Finally arriving home at 1:30 pm on my much anticipated day off, I was too tired to do anything but watch some Law & Order: Criminal Intent re-runs and drift off to sleep to dream about becoming a recluse, alone in a mountain cabin.

Of course, when I see this face ~

 running away, sleeping, pressure, stress, all fade away and I realize that life - if not perfect - is okay.
From Millan.Net

9 blew out from under the bed:

Akelamalu said...

Oh boy I was feeling stressed just reading this! Glad to hear baby is OK now. x

Ron said...

OMG, I was wiped out just READING this, Nitebyrd!



This why a few years ago when I had that horrible tooth abscess, I decided it was best if I allowed it to drain on its own rather than go to ER.

Sooooo glad to hear your grandson is okay. GOD...I cannot believe the doctor at the ER didn't see the dislocation on the x-ray.

What a precious photo of your grandson. He is so CUTE!

X ya, Sis!

Ron said...

P.S. Enjoyed the video. LOVE Queen!

Britnie said...

How Scary! I'm so glad he's okay. What a dipshit of a first doctor, I could punch him just reading this!

That face is priceless, he looks like he's in deep thought hahaha

You are so cute when you talk about him!

KJ said...

Holy fucking Bat shit!

Almost $2k for that? And not even properly diagnosed?! I'd ask for a bloody refund! Gah!!!

Sometimes I forget just how lucky we are here, and that we don't pay for emergency medical attention...
so glad baby is okay.

little monkey said...

I'm glad the baby is okay, but i am also glad Grandma is okay. This made me want to hug you and then shush everyone in the house so you could sleep.

Anonymous said...

I am glad to hear that it wasn't anything life threatening.

All I have to say is fuckin Doctors. I wish I got paid to mis diagnose...

CrystalChick said...

OMG! What a crazy night.. uh, morning. So glad your little sweetheart is okay now though.
I hope Doogie hears about it!! Maybe even a reduction of the 2K is in order, too!
Love the photo. Yeah, that's super sweet kid!

nitebyrd said...

Akelamalu ~ It's been a stressful yet amazing six months. I'm sure as long as my son, his gf and the baby are living with us, life will continue to be stress filled and interesting! Thanks for coming by.

Ron ~ Yeah, totally crazy and that didn't include the radiology fees!
I couldn't let a toothache go, that's my limit. Broken arm, huge leg gash - I'm good. Toothache, I become a whimpering child! Thanks for commenting, he is a cutie, isn't he! Back in 1977 I saw Queen in concert. It still ranks as one of the best shows I've ever seen..

Britnie ~ Awww, thanks! He makes some adorable faces but then again, I'm biased! I was totally unimpressed with stoner doctor the hospital got a letter about the whole situation. I tried to be nice.

Ute ~ Hello, hun! I'm so happy to see you! If the USA ever tried to socialize medicine, the doctors would go ballistic! Our medical costs are out of control but then again, we DEMAND the best treatment. *sigh* The baby is great! Miss you, girl!

little monkey ~ Thank you, sweetie. Grand's need hugs and vodka - a lot!

Jack Napier ~ Well, they do practice medicine! LOL Thanks for stoppin' by!

CrystalChick ~ Thank you! He is a sweetie. It brings back memories of my own kids - sometimes that's a good thing, sometimes not so much! Hopefully the hospital admin will pass along my comments to Dr. Doogie!