Friday, October 28, 2011

Believe It Or Not - Bank of America is Satan

Since October 2009, I've been trying to get Bank of America to modify my mortgage. Back in 2005 something happened that altered my life forever. I won't bore you with details but let me say that it financially, emotionally and mentally ruined me. What was done may not have been logical/smart but it was done with the best intentions.

I'm not asking Bank of America to give me a “bail-out”, I'm asking that they delete their late fees, tack the past due amount owed to the end of the mortgage and let me continue to make payments that I'm now able to make. Being that I'm a white woman, a natural born citizen of the United States of America, don't have a disability and have been working non-stop since I'm 16 years old, I don't qualify for any of the government hand-outs that some people living in my country have the benefit of receiving. If that last statement offends you, FUCK OFF! I'm pissed and I really don't give a flying fuck about being politically correct. TANGENT ALERT! A school in Portland, Oregon is banning Halloween costumes because, among other reasons, “... cultural differences among our families that we must respect.” Wearing costumes and trick-or-treating is an inherently American tradition but this principal (he's not the only one) is telling us we have to be aware of cultural differences regarding American traditions for immigrants living in America. Are you fucking kidding me!?!

Back to Bank of America. My modification file that I have approximately 5” thick, there have been 6 different “Loan Modification Managers” handling my account. I've got a canned response letter from Barack Obama in response to a letter I wrote him about my issues and I've got some, “Bank of America - Rocks!” responses from the United States Department of Treasury, Office of the Comptroller of the Currency – The latest manager handling my account is Stephanie Atkins Williams. She wrote me a letter, dated October 7, 2011 (this is the only correspondence I've received from Bank of America in months), kindly giving me her phone number to call her, “as soon as possible” to discuss my options. I called Stephanie Atkins Williams several times since receiving the letter only to get her voice mail that assured me after I left a message she'd get back to me in 24 hours. She never did.

Yesterday, I spoke to a homeowners insurance agent trying to lower the premium I pay through my mortgage escrow account. Not being sure that Bank of America would pay this due to the ongoing problems, the agent suggested I call them. I called Bank of America at their main customer service number. After giving my information, I was transferred to my “Account Manager”. Guess who answered the phone on the first ring? You got it, Stephanie Atkins Williams! I told Steph that while I had her on the phone, perhaps we could go over the letter she wrote me. Once again, I gave Stephanie Atkins Williams my info – account number, etc. This is the conversation that followed:

Stephanie Atkins Williams (SAW) ~ I'm sorry, I can't discuss your account with you.

nitebyrd ~ Why not? You sent me a letter to call you about my account.

SAW ~ We've assigned an Advocate to your account.

nitebyrd ~ Okay. Please transfer me to the advocate.

SAW ~ I'm sorry, I can't give you to the advocate.

nitebyrd ~ Well, give me their name and number and I'll call them direct.

SAW ~ I can't give you their name.

nitebyrd, (after a moment of mystified silence) ~ Let me get this straight. You wrote me a letter stating you are my Account Manager asking me to call you to discuss my account but now you can't talk to me about my account because Bank of America has assigned an Advocate to my account but you can't give me the name of the Advocate that is handling my account?

SAW ~ That's right.

nitebyrd ~ How am I supposed to find out who the Advocate is?

SAW ~ They should have contacted you.

nitebyrd ~ They haven't. Only you've contacted me.

SAW ~ I'm sorry, there's really nothing I can do.

My next call was to a lawyer.

Do you think this blog might incense Brian Moynihan, CEO of Bank of America, even more? Poor baby!

9 blew out from under the bed:

Ron said...

" I don't qualify for any of the government hand-outs that some people living in my country have the benefit of receiving. If that last statement offends you, FUCK OFF! I'm pissed and I really don't give a flying fuck about being politically correct."

OMG I LOVE THAT! And I TOTALLY agree with you 100%! Trust me, Philadelphia is FULL of people looking for hand-outs and it pisses me off too!

I can't believe Bank of America is handling this situation in this manner. And good for you for contacting your lawyer!

You GO, Sis!

Bank of America IS Satan!


Akelamalu said...

Bank of America need a kick up the arse!

Jeff B said...

What a bunch of assholes. This whole "We'll be glad to take your mony, but don't really give a crap about you" mentality the financial institutions have is infuriating.

UP said...

OK, the situation is NOT funny, but the post has me rolling in the floor, wetting myself...more than usual!

I qualify for squat, 60, white, under-employed, but employed nonetheless, KWIM?

I loathe the douchebags running the banking industry, evil, money grubbing mo-fos if you ask me.

You have said what I, not having the balls to, would love to say every day!

Betty White is right! (About that va-jay-jay thing.)

I love you more (from afar) every day!

CrystalChick said...

OMG, I think f'ing blogger just ate my comment!
No, wait, this is YOUR day to rant. And what a fine one that was!
I'm sorry for what you're dealing with and hope for some quick resolve.

Indi said...

nitebyrd ~ Reminds me of Robin Hood.. he took off the poor to pay the rich... I'm British and kinda proud... we have a goverment who use our money for their expenses... daft fuckers. Bakers are wankers basically. If I won the lottery hun. I'd give you enough money to pay your monies off to the bank..... bit by bit... go tell em to fuck off and as you said if anyone is offended by this then they should go fuck off... I'm sober... but I feel your frustration babe.... mine is I can't have a fuckin drink!!!!! But on the other hand, don't let the sad fuckers wear ya donw, they sure as hell aint fucking worth it!!
Love ya nitebyrd, ahuh... had you between my legs today... you were amazin round them tight corners *wink*



Anonymous said...

You are hilarious!

Anonymous said...

This is one of the reasons I am going to get my family and I off the grid. No more credit more loans, if I can help it. If I can't afford it, I can't afford it...simple as that.

ZomBee said...

and BOA Moynihan says " ya'all need to be thinkin about the good we do before yellin at us."
thats like thanking the rapist for not stabbing you, well more then once.
They want to better their image they need to look at whose money bailed them out...twice and maybe just act a bit more humane instead of jamming their hands in our pockets clawing for our last dime while standing nose to nose begging us to "be nice to me".
I hear ya baby.