Monday, September 13, 2010

Butt stuff, tampons, boogers and pickled eggs!

The other day I went to Sam’s Club for a 55 gallon drum of laundry detergent and 86 rolls of toilet paper.I tend to wander in Sam’s ‘cause it’s ginormous and you get to look at The People of Wal-Mart that have come over for bigger quantities of the stuff they buy in Wal-Mart.

Marveling at a 5 gallon jar of pickled eggs, I’m wondering who the fuck eats pickled eggs and why do they need 5 gallons?What kind of farts would come from eating pickled eggs while drinking beer?

Whilst in the vitamin/shampoo/diaper department, I noticed these ~

BOOGIE WIPES! Seriously? Couldn’t you just call ‘em Snot Rags and be done?

What kind of drugs is your marketing department on to want to call your product ANTI-MONKEY BUTT POWDER and use a red-assed monkey as the spokes animal? Their new product is going to be Anti-Rotting Fish Douche.  Charlie the Tuna has been chosen to represent the item. To go along with your Monkey Butt Powder, we've also got BOUDREAUX'S BUTT PASTE!  I guess if you put a French sounding name in front of Butt Paste it sounds more like pate foie gras and not like an acute intestinal infection.

WTF? America!  Get some class, please!  I saw a commercial for Tampax Tampons that called the tampon “cute”!  CUTE!  Are you insane?  Any woman who has their period doesn’t want a “cute” plug trying to block the flow.  That’s like asking Barbie to do hostage negotiations with a psycho-killer.  You don’t want “cute”, you want smart, ripped, ready-for-anything, like G.I. Joe tampons! Cute tampons. What is the advertising world coming to?

Although, sometimes the Ad Men get it almost right (the E-Trade baby – LOVE him)  if not hysterical and get the product in your brain.  Watch this ~

If I had balls, Jamie Pressly could wash them.  I did buy my son one of these Axe Detailers last Christmas.  He recommends NOT using the scrubby side on your actual balls, guys.  Just a tip from a real live consumer who treasures his balls, likes ‘em clean and sees no reason on earth for anyone to want pickled eggs.

20 blew out from under the bed:

vixen kitten said...

Great video! Thanks for the giggles.

Now I'm off to erase the very thought of a pickled egg fart from my memory bank. Eeeesh!

Love you lots, beautiful.


Ron said...

OMG, you're not going to believe this, but someone else I blog with had this EXACT video on her post today!!!

It's freakin' HYSTERICAL!!

My favorite was the old man and his two big old balls that needed cleaning!!!

Fabulous post, Sis!

"I guess if you put a French sounding name in front of Butt Paste it sounds more like pate foie gras and not like an acute intestinal infection."


X ya!

Jen Fooled Around said...

HAHA .. this is hysterical and insightful...great start to the morning.

It will certainly make my next trip to BJ's more entertaining as I will be looking at things much more carefully and critically.

(PS.. what is butt paste anyway?)


Akelamalu said...

Who in God's name comes up with this stuff????? :0

forgingahead said...

Loved the long delay with the golf ball play...

funny post.

Indi said...

nitebyrd ~ OMG!! ROFLMAO .. how'd they keep a straight face whilst makin that commercial?



tattytiara said...

It is funny that they're using increasingly frank packaging and references for all kinds of products and still trying to sell feminine hygine with as little reference to what it's actually for and needed to do as possible. Balls good, vaginas bad!

Sunny said...

What is butt paste exactly?? ::scrunches nose::

Danielle said...

LOL, Jamie Pressly is HOT! Love that video!

Jeff B said...

You are on a roll!

Great post. A much needed laugh.

Deech said...

ROTFLMAO! I haven't seen advertising like this since they created the Nut Bra.....

Jennie @ Modern Mamaz said...

Butt Paste: Diaper rash cream. And dude... Boudreaux's Butt Paste rocks! It clears up diaper rash in about a day and also doesn't sting their rear like Desitin does. Used it with both my first and will use it on the third. The funniest part? I found out about it when my son was in the NICU... his nurse gave me some.

And come on... who doesn't want to buy something that says "butt" on it?? Shit, I'd buy it just as a party topic.

Red Shoes said...

Hell, that looks like something I would have posted!!!!


Ive never seen that video!!!

And Anti-Monkey Butt Powder?!?!?!
I was just talking with someone the other night about monkey butts!!!



nitebyrd said...

VK ~ When I saw the shortened version of the commercial on TV, I almost fell out of my chair! Sorry about the fart thought!

Ron ~ It is too freakin' funny! I guess calling it Butt Paste there's no worry of you putting it any place else!

Jen ~ I like BJ's, too! They have even more stuff than Sam's Club! LOL Jennie has kindly explained what Butt Paste is!

Akelamalu ~ My question exactly! LOL

Sexy Sixty ~ And the old lady that wants to play with them all day, too! Thanks!

Indi ~ I wonder how many takes they had to do. I would've been laughing the whole time!

tattytiara ~ I know, right? They are getting a bit more daring, having Mother Nature carrying a red box. But still - "cute" tampons. Jeez!

Sunny ~ Jennie has thankfully explained it. I haven't changed a diaper in years so I had no clue! Thanks for stopping by!

Danielle ~ She is, isn't she? And funny! A perfect combination! LOL

Jeff B ~ Yeah, it was an interesting trip to Sam's, that's for sure!

Joker ~ Nut Bra? Okay, you're going to have to explain that one! LOL

Jennie ~ Thank you, girl! for explaining Butt Paste! I could see having Anti-Monkey Butt Powder on display in the bathroom could get some party conversation going. Add the Butt Paste and you've got more fun than you can handle! ;)

Red Shoes ~ Okay. I gotta ask - Why were you discussing monkey butts? You must have some damn interesting conversations! Thanks for coming by!

Joanna Cake said...

The vid certainly tickled me pink :)

As to pickled eggs, I rather like them singly. And the farts? Not that I would ever do anything like that of course but I've been told they're the same as after consuming any other egg product, just with a hint of vinegar ;P Although I suspect that if you ate a 5 gallon jar, you'd probably need some serious help shifting anything through your intestines, you'd be so egg bound!

Tracie said...

Holy shit that was funny.
Thank you for posting!!!

Um - and don't be knocking the butt paste - if you've got little ones the stuff is like gold.

Anonymous said...

butt stuff, great term!

that axe video has gotten more blog play, including on mine, than any in recent memory. it's burning up the blogosphere

Sandra said...

I'm not proud of this, but I can say without a doubt that pickled eggs, even just one will cause farts the likes of which will kill a small village.

Red Shoes said...

Nitebyrd... the conversation started off with monkey sex... and it just kinda went all over the place... if'n you know what I mean... ;o)


Matt said...

Fantastic vid!