Tuesday, March 22, 2011

The Bunny Tail Day Spa

Recently I’ve been reading Happyendingz - confessions of an erotic masseuse and it’s given me an idea. I’m a “facial specialist”, meaning I give facials. Not FACIALS.  I also enjoy getting facials, not FACIALS. (When writing for people that read a whole lotta sex blogs, this could get confusing.) I’m an esthetician, a skin care/facial specialist. Duly licensed and insured, I make the skin, on your face , neck and décolleté look better and stay healthy.

Since the economy tanked, women, who usually get facials, have decided that getting a facial is a luxury (It really isn’t, especially if you want to stay young looking!) so the need for estheticians isn’t very great.  Per my usual luck, I finally decide on something I LOVE to do, take out a student loan, go to school, graduate (with honors!) and BAM! can’t find a job.  If I were a 20-something just getting out of college, I wouldn’t be too upset because I’d have years to work on getting that dream job. Unfortunately, I don’t have years, which is what lead me to an idea after reading Happy endingz - confessions of an erotic masseuse.

As a licensed esthetician in my state, I can only treat the head, neck and face and also wax all the hairy bits of the body that warrant waxing.  I also have a “body wrapping” certificate.  That’s for doing body scrubs, exfoliation, moisturizing treatments, aromatherapy, etc.  I cannot say that I will “massage” you.  I am allowed to apply lotion to the hands, arms and shoulders with “massage like application techniques”.  So what if I gave you a traditional facial and then used “massage like application techniques” to give  Happy Ending Facials to men?  I'd call it The Bunny Tail Facial. There are men who do regularly get facials, although that demographic isn’t very large in my area. But a Happy Ending Facial would surely bring ‘em in, dontcha think?

My service would actually be a huge plus for the women, too.  Think of it ladies, your man would come home with clean, glowing skin.  His eyebrows, nostrils and ears would be groomed (waxing nostrils and ears is akin to something used during The Spanish Inquisition. Most men will divulge national secrets during a nostril wax! The soothing facial is required after the nose, ear and eyebrow waxing, trust me.) to perfection and he’d be relaxed.  I’ll bet he’d take you out to dinner or buy you those diamond earrings!  Maybe both, ‘cause I’m THAT good!  If he's not married or attached there's a distinct possibility I'll get the diamond earrings and I wouldn't mind that one bit.

I’m actually researching the bylaws to see if there’s any rule against applying lotion/crème “with massage like application techniques” with breasts.  I could charge extra for a penis facial done with my boobs!  Regular facials go from about $45.00 to $75.00, can you imagine what I could charge for a Bunny Tail Facial avec des Seins? (French. Sounds classy and not at all illegal, doesn’t it?)

Tell me what you think about this idea. Guys, does it sound like something you’d pay for and get at least twice a month?

15 blew out from under the bed:

Ron said...

"I'd call it The Bunny Tail Facial."

You GO, Nitebyrd!!!!!

I LOVE the name!

And do you know what? I think you'd be booked THREE months in advance if you were to actually do this.

I think you should move to Pennsylvania because there are NO regulations or laws for massage or any form of body work. That's one of the reasons I moved back here because I can practice reflexology without having a massage license.

Let me know if you decide to move here, because I'll start booking you appointments now - HA!

X ya, Sis!

Nolens Volens said...

If I visit and you haven't put that to use, can I be your test subject? ;)

Danielle said...

I say hell yeah and go for it! I would love one! Not saying which one??? :)

Unknown said...

Haha, I honestly have no idea if you're serious or not, but hell, if you are, you won't have any shortage of business =)

Actually, this sounds like a better combination the more I think about it. I want one now! lol

Akelamalu said...

I think you'd be booked up!

Mortuis said...

Where do I sign up?

Deech said...

Oh hell yeah! The only thing that would prevent me from going in would be my own economic situation.

As you stated, times are tough and that would be considered a luxury...not a necessity.

Sandra said...

I think it's a great idea. I'd love it if my man came home with clean, glowing skin. Can't stand the blackheads.
Not penis in that picture btw. So flawless and perky!


I say men will pay for sure for the Bunny Tail.

I also say invest in a lawyer who can get you out of your massage loophole with clever wording. :)

Sexy PTA Mom said...

I think Ubermouth has the right idea. Make sure you're legally covered and go for it. Sounds like a good idea to me. You have to get creative in this economy!! But you might also need a good friend/big male partner who could be a bouncer if you are worried about any guys getting out of line. Just trying to keep your safety in mind if you're 100% serious.

Sorrow said...

everyone seems to have the " if your serious" & the " watch your legals covered"
I will just add that if you find a guy that goes for this, can you see if he has a sister?

flying solo said...

What guy would say NO to that?


as a matter of fact what woman wouldn't like a facial and a happy ending??????

UP said...

You had me at "happy ending"!


nitebyrd said...

Ron ~ You got it. If I do decide to move north for the change of seasons, I'll call you first! No regulations - Fuck! that's a little scary!

NV ~ Absolutely!

Danielle ~ And I would give you one. Whatever you'd like! ;) I'm an equal opportunity esthetician!

Pallas ~ You're encouraging me, that's for sure!

Akelamalu ~ I'd better practice my techniques! ;)

Mortuis ~ You'd have a standing appointment, no waiting!

Joker ~ The economy really is a downer for everyone but I'm thinkin' that the special facial could definitely become a necessity!

Sandra ~ I cannot tell you the glee yet disgust that I have when I do "extractions". Men are always the best to extract from 'cause they rarely pay attention to their skin. Isn't that cock a beauty?

Ubermouth ~ A lawyer that I could barter with would be really great! I'll need to look into that. ;)

Sexy PTA Mom ~ OMFG! Where have you been? I've missed you and I'm SO glad you stopped by!
(((hugs))) If I actually were to attempt this, I'd need an actual "office". Currently, I do treatments at my home and I really wouldn't want them to know where I live. Don't be a stranger, girl!

Sorrow ~ I will always ask about an available sister for you. But I'll also do some checking her out to make sure she's worthy!

flying solo ~ That's what I'm thinkin', too! I could handle that as well. :)

UP ~ LOL! You're my kind of client!

Karl said...

Please book my appointment as well. It is good to feel pampered, preened, and relaxed!