Wednesday, June 4, 2008

And they needed ... ?


Nude couple crash SUV in XXXXX with drugs, empty alcohol bottles inside

By Will Greenlee
Originally published 02:23 p.m., May 27, 2008
Updated 02:23 p.m., May 27, 2008

XXXXX COUNTY — A nude 18-year-old woman who admitted dealing marijuana was arrested after crashing a Toyota into a utility pole with a naked man as a passenger, according to an arrest affidavit obtained Tuesday.


Megan M. Douglas, of the 6300 block of Gardena Street, was behind the wheel of a blue Toyota Highlander on Friday night, eastbound on 25th Street. About 9:50 p.m., Douglas went down a swale and hit a utility pole head on.


Arriving deputies found Douglas and a passenger — a naked man — and both said they'd just had sex.

In the back seat, investigators turned up a purse with roughly 5 ounces of marijuana, a glass pipe, plastic bags and a digital scale.

"I asked Douglas if this was for personal use and she said she deals it," the affidavit states.
Investigators found alcohol bottles and cans in the driver's and passenger's areas.

Douglas and the passenger were taken to XXXXX Medical Center & Heart Institute, where Douglas was treated and arrested.

Douglas faces charges including possession of more than 20 grams of marijuana, possession of marijuana with intent to sell, possession of drug paraphernalia, DUI with property damage/personal injury and possession of alcohol by a person under 21.

Douglas was released Saturday from the XXXXX County Jail on $13,500 bail, a jail official said.

© 2008 Scripps Treasure Coast Newspapers
I love to read. I'll read most anything. I really love to read weird stuff about strange things. I read this story a few days ago and can't stop thinking about it.


WHAT THE FUCK COULD THESE PEOPLE HAVE NEEDED SO BADLY, THEY LEFT WITHOUT THEIR CLOTHES???


Seriously, they had alcohol and drugs. They had sex so a condom run couldn't have been priority. Was it the munchies? Was the siren song of Doritos and Ding Dongs so strong that it caused them to rush from the house (?) naked? Did they hear a news report that gas had gone down to $1.99 a gallon and had to get it at that moment?


The idiotic things that people do fascinate me. Can you imagine how many dead and/or dying brain cells these two had to drive naked, stoned and drunk, and then crash? And ... and .... and - then admit to being a drug dealer???? Holy! Fuck! The preponderance of stupidity is staggering.


I've been having so much fun imagining what was going on in their pitiful minds that my inquiring mind really doesn't want to know the the real reason for their trip because I know it will disappoint me.


Let me know what YOU think what they were planning on. 'K?

26 blew out from under the bed:

Lustus.Mihi said...

Hi Nitebyrd :)

Ya just can't fix stupid! My guess is they started with their clothes on and were HAVING sex when they crashed. That would explain the naked part anyway. The stupid part - well I'd have to attribute that to the substances found in their car. Some people are born stupid, others make themselves that way...

Hugs!

Anonymous said...

They needed to be different. C:)

Ronjazz said...

MORAL -- Don't fuck around in the car without your clothes on...or at least within reach...having an orgasm while driving is one thing. I've done that several times...Fucking while you are going 70 MPH is just stupid...
Especially while you are drunk...

Anonymous said...

her sister? ;-)

lube maybe?

Ron said...

Honestly...not one single thought comes into my head about WHY the hell they would do this.

Except...

See what happens when you smoke too much weed?

tee, hee..

CrystalChick said...

Just stopping by to grab your name/addy for my blogroll.
Enjoy your day! M

Bollinger Byrd said...

they were spies from mars trying to blend in with ole the good ol folks, but they'd not read the instructions properly on fitting in!
bbx

Riff Dog said...

Since they're both druggies, maybe they didn't trust each other and worried each other was a narc and could be wearing a wire. The only way to be sure they weren't wired was to be naked.

Jeff B said...

I was trying to come up with something whitty for this, but stupidity of this level simply can not be touched.

A. Secret said...

I don't know but the whole thing sounds like one helluva story to tell your friends later! "Dude, you will NEVER believe what happened to me..."
XX

Trixie said...

What gets me, is how she didn't get charged for indecent exposure!!!

Anonymous said...

just wanted to say you are on in sageville.......

Indigo said...

The female on the car... is she learning to surf, cuz she's forgot her fucking board!

Indigo said...

There's nowt so strange as folk, and if you happen to live in Yorkshire, you'll understand that saying.

Spin said...

Very interesting! Can't say I tried anything that crazy in day.
Wow.

lili said...

*giggles* Theres nothing common about sense! esp whens its warped with booze and drugs lol

Hugs lili

Loving Annie said...

Good Sunday afternoon Nitebyrd ! How is your wekend going ?

I am just glad they didn't hit/hurt/kill anyone while they were stoned/drunk/having sex and not paying attention to their driving...

What they SHOULD have done is stay home and sleep it off beofre sticking keys in any ignition. Morons.

nitebyrd said...

lustus.mihi ~ Jerry Springer once said, "Without Florida, Georgia and California, I'd have no show." Mostly everyday in our local paper or news someone in this state proves him correct. LOL

craig andrew ~ Yeah, they were different all right!

ronjazz ~ I'm hoping she wasn't giving him a blow job when the car crashed! Although, I think they might have mentioned a detached member in the article since they mentioned everything else!

sage ~ Well, this is the south, they might have been going for her sister, his sister AND lube! ;) Thank you, again for letting me know about the "Boob-A-Thon." You and Snarky did a great thing by donating money for cancer research.

ron ~ I definitely would give up the grass if I knew it'd make me do stupid shit like drive naked. I'm thinkin' that it's too late for this pair, they've already fried their brains.

crystalchick ~ Thanks, hun! People!!! If y'all need some very cool jewelry, stop by crystalchick's place! AWESOME! I loves me some jewelry and her's is gorgeous. She's makin' me some custom earrings!

byrd ~ If they were aliens, that would explain some things. I tend to think the majority of people are aliens.

riff dog ~ Yes. That could be. Horny, drunk, stoned narcs. :D

jeff b ~ That was my thought exactly.

a. secret ~ Yup. Those are usually the words that folks around here start with when they've seen the spaceship land and the probes begin. Famous last words in these parts are, "Hold my beer. Watch this!"

trixie ~ I'm thinkin' she was pretty hot or the cops would've added that charge, too.

indigo ~ The chick on the car probably had been partaking of some weed and beer, hence the "surfing" stance in the middle of a dry field. LOL - I don't need to live in Yorkshire to figure out that saying!

spin ~ Welcome to my blog. So, tell us - how crazy did you get back in the day?

lili ~ Floridians are not know for common sense. Common, yes. Sensible, not so much!

loving annie ~ Hello, Annie! It's so nice to have you visit. Your blueberry muffin recipe is YUMMY!
Yes, I'm very glad that they didn't hurt anyone, even their stupid selves.

Flyinfox_SATX said...

Coming in a little late on this one. I say that these two were well aware of the Darwin Awards and were aiming to be the next recipients...

Flyinfox_SATX

CrystalChick said...

I don't usually get around to reply comments so quickly but here was mine on the Chocolat post:

my darling Nitebyrd, by the time you found where I've hidden him the chocolate would be all gone. Well, we could dunk him again and go for seconds.... hehe

Do you think he could handle the both of us????
LOL

And thank you much for adding me and giving my page a plug! :))
Have a great week!

sorrow11 said...

You know I just don't think stupid people need a reason..
But..
snort...
I knew a gut once who could only have an orgasm while driving fast...
Not my cup of thrill
to each there own..
the weed however..
sigh such a waste...

nitebyrd said...

flyinfox ~ Better late than never! Human(?)nature fascinates me. I just don't want to get to close to it most of the time. ;)

crystalchick ~ I guess, since it's YOU, I'll share chocolate covered Johnny. We'll be gentle with him, 'cause I'm sure we'll want to dip him again and again and again!

Hey! I always support anyone who's talented, funny and smart. (We have to stick together, ya know?)

sorrow11 ~ OMG! That guy needs a shrink! Especially with the price of gas now. LOL

It's a shame that some people can't properly get stoned and just sit around discussing how to attain world peace.

The Middle Child said...

How about they were caught having sex in his house by his wife and she got out the shotgun and ran them both out without letting them get dressed. They were too busy laughing and re-enacting the look on his wifes face to drive properly and that's when they wrecked.
True story.
LOL.

Casdok said...

The mind bloggles!

Ro said...

I have to say that, for me, the most stunning part of that piece is your casual reference to gas at $1.99 a gallon.

Keep it quiet or you'll have massed arrivals from the UK, over there to take back vast quantities of cheap fuel.

Cheap? Well, given we're now paying £1.20 a litre ... call it $9 a gallon roughly ...

Giggle! said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Dumbarses!!!

Who knows! Maybe they sold their clothes for drugs ffs!

You hear the saying "Don't go out with dirty underwear, coz you may get hit by a bus"

But crashing with no undies, let alone NO CLOTHES is far worse!!!


Hahahahaha Thanks for the GiGGLe!!!

xx