Monday, June 25, 2012

Bank of Evil

funny gifs

I'm not sure if I told y'all or not that back in May, Bank of The Anti-Christ Bank of America granted us a "permanent" mortgage modification. While it is not a fantastic deal, I do very much appreciate that they have waived their late fees and will allow us to continue to pay for the house until 2052.  I'll be 99 years old when the house is paid off.  Then I can retire.

One stipulation with the modification was that the documents needed to be signed and our first "new" payment, in the form of a cashier's check, HAD TO BE RECEIVED BY JUNE 1, 2012.  As we received the packet on May 15th and I was leaving for Pennsylvania on May 24th, it was a little bit of a scurry to get it all together.  The documents were signed and returned by FedEx on May 17th and on May 18th, I went to the bank for the cashier's check.  After that, I noted our account number on the check, attached a copy of the letter Bank of America had sent us, then mailed it certified mail - return receipt requested to the address noted in the mailing.  Several days later I got the return receipt back and confirmation from FedEx that everything was delivered in plenty of time.  I could relax and enjoy my trip.

Yeah, right!.  Bank of Satan Bank of America had ordained that relaxation after almost four years of stress and struggle wasn't going to happen just yet.

On Tuesday, June 12th, I get a call at work from Sandy at ABC Bank.  She is holding a cashier's check made out to Bank of America from me that came to her branch of ABC Bank without any other information except a form letter from BOA stating they can't identify the account number to which the check is supposed to be applied.  I don't bank at Sandy's branch of ABC Bank.  That branch isn't anywhere near my home or office.  WTF?  Panic sets in.  I leave work to get the check then spend the next 1.5 hours on the phone with Satan's Minions several Bank of America employees until I'm finally given someone with two functioning brain cells - Ms. Smart.  She apparently is my Account Manager. She assures me that all will be well, not to worry!  She tells me to trot on over to my local BoA branch here in Hell and I can give them the payment.  She is very calm as I'm still trying to put the fire out on my head and stop my brains from leaking out my ear.  I ask Ms. Smart to put in writing what she has just told me about the "permanent" modification not being in jeopardy because one of Bank of America's cretins copied the account number I'd written on the check wrong on the same check and that the payment would be applied today.  Ms. Smart would send me an email with all that information on it.  Not to worry!  Off I go into the gaping maw of darkness of my local Bank of America.

The teller was very laid back, she smiled a beatific smile as she told me she was sorry but she couldn't accept my payment because Beelzebub's children the Home Retention Dept. hadn't updated my loan in the system.  Since my hair started to ignite again, she suggested I get Ms. Smart on the phone.  I got Ms. Smart on the first try (maybe there is a God!), she chatted with Ms. Prozac for a bit but the bottom line was I couldn't make the payment there.  (It will be possibly two more months before the Home Retention Dept. gets around to updating things.  They're very busy pulling out the fingernails of the newly foreclosed.)

Ms Smart then suggests that she take the payment over the phone.  That's a BRILLIANT IDEA but how will I instantaneously transform this cashier's check in my hand back into money in my account?  Ms Smart (no wonder she's an assistant to The Prince of Fucking Darkness The President and CEO of Bank of America!) tells me to go to my branch of ABC Bank, they will null and void it then put the money back in my account.  I have approximately an hour to do this.

At my branch of ABC Bank, Mr. Rip Van Winkle is in front of me.  He has woken up and is now catching up on 20 years worth of banking.  My bank, not being as prestigious as Bank of America, has only one teller working.  The manager, while helpful and apparently on the same medication as Ms Prozac, can't fix the check situation, I must wait for the teller. *sigh*

To make a long story longer, I got it all done just under the wire.  It took me about  3.50 hours, 1/2 a tank of gas and 4.75 years off my life.  Right there it was worth it 'cause I'm not gonna live to be 99 anymore and Bank of America isn't going to get all their money!
Smiley from
Thanks to everyone who came to the Tophatter Auction on Saturday!

Monday, June 18, 2012


On June 23, 2012, I hope you'll join me, my Team Venus and my Irihana BNR Team friends at our  

12:00 NOON

A little about this auction:

 These will be mostly handmade artisans in pottery, art, glass, jewelry, ooak pieces, paintings and other mediums and supply shops as well.*******These listings are all from sellers on Team Venus and Irihanas Team on Etsy.*******Check out unique shops for future purchases as well (remember, Christmas is always just around the corner)******WE WILL HAVE OVER 100 + LISTINGS IN THIS AUCTION! ALL SHOPS WILL SHIP TO US AND CANADA 

If you haven't been to TOPHATTER, you can check out the upcoming auctions or read about it on their blog.   Tophatter is a live auction site and you can bid on just about EVERYTHING!  Bids usually start as low as $1.00 and many time, shipping is included in the sale price!  Tophatter is FREE to join!

It's never too early to Christmas/Holiday shop.  Summer is graduations, weddings, back to school.  Everyone has anniversaries and birthdays.  Baby gifts!  Just because gifts!  Something special 'cause you lost 2 pounds!  Whatever ... please stop by the Team Venus and Irihana BNR Team Tophatter Auction!


Friday, June 15, 2012

Fifty Shades of Grey = Disney Porn

If Walt Disney were to animate "The Story of O", I think it would be exactly like the "Fifty Shades of Grey" series.

Since I was young, whatever book I started reading, I finished.  There is one exception, "The Ruins" by Scott Smith, what a dismal piece of shit that book is!  Since there are three books in the "Fifty Shades" series, I felt compelled to read them all.  I'm glad I didn't have to buy but one.

While Ms. James writing improves somewhat by the second book, I can't help but visualize a Disney princess and prince.  C'mon! Anastasia and Christian - those are Disney names if I ever heard one!  The books are quite improbable, even for fiction.  Nonetheless, they are addictive in an "I-don't-need-my-brain-to-read-this" way.  Easy, uncomplicated reads for when you need a break from reality.

What I don't understand is all the hoopla about the BDSM aspects of the books.  There is hardly any.  I've read harder and more erotic sex scenes in  Laurell K. Hamilton, "Anita Blake" books . Granted most of the sex in those books is with vampires and werewolves, but still, Ms. Hamilton writes raunchy, rough and kinky with delicious descriptiveness.  E.L. James, not so much.  There's lots of talk about sadism, bondage, submissiveness, dominance in the "Fifty Shades" series but not much that type action.  Don't get me wrong, there's scads of sex going on, Anastasia and Christian, fuck like rabbits in heat, but it's romantic, loving sex for the most part.  Dreamy sex between two perfect people with perfect bodies that haven't hit 30 yet!

That a man of 27 years old could be a Master Dominant AND a Captain of Industry was the first clue that Ms. James books were not going to be mind-bending.  The second was that the heroine was 21 years old, flat-out gorgeous and was still a virgin!  Hello, Disney?  (Okay, I'm a jaded old bitch!)  What intrigued me was that these books became, mostly by word of mouth, HUGE bestsellers because of the BDSM and/or sex. Seriously, what were all these women reading before?  Did they never pick up a "bodice ripper" at the supermarket or check out Henry Miller or D.H. Lawrence at Barnes & Noble?  Did they only ever read "Fan Fiction"? While I'm puzzled about all the fuss, I'm happy women are reading something!

The "The Fifty Shades" series didn't arouse me, it amused me.  I'm not a Disney fan, except for the villains and they don't turn me on, either!  In my opinion, the attraction to the books is that they stir remembrance of "first love".  Anastasia and Christian are young, beautiful, they have their whole future ahead of them and they are totally in love with each other.  They have the kind of relationship that happens, if we're lucky, once in a lifetime.  It could be that women are jumping men's bones because reading "Fifty Shades of Grey" reignites the fire they want to rekindle or starts the spark they've always dreamed about.  It could be they want the happily ever after, (Cue - singing cartoon birds and squirrels) if only for a few moments.

Monday, June 11, 2012

Does This Blog Make Me Look Jealous?

Me by Zombie Booth App

*** CAUTION - This is a RANT!!! ***

This post may not be timely but when have I ever been timely!  These thoughts have been knocking around in my head for quite awhile now.  I need to get them out 'cause they're taking up valuable space.

There are many people that write about sex. All types of sex.  I call them "sex bloggers".  As far as I know, there is no official outline for who should be titled a "sex blogger".  In addition, I don't believe there is a degree give to anyone who write a blog to determine what constitutes a "sex blog/blogger".  If I'm wrong, let me know because when a blogger is called out for NOT being a "sex blogger" by another blogger, I want to see that degree posted front and center on the callers blog.  This should be true for any blog genre.  Unless YOU have been certified by some official place/person/thing that YOU are absolutely a "sex", "mommy", "kink", "horror", etc. blogger, then YOU have no right to denigrate someone else's blog.  Say what you want in their comment section, that's why it's there.  But don't go on and on and on in YOUR blog about their blog content.  I think it makes you look petty and jealous.  (Yes, we absolutely have the right to say whatever we want on OUR blogs but constant repetitive, negative postings about a fellow blogger - petty and jealous, just sayin'.)

Speaking of jealous, for fucks sake, people - how can you be SO jealous of a person that writes well and has a popular blog - that you will spend hours, days, weeks, months in find out their real identity and "out" them? (I'll get to the anonymity part in a bit but please allow me to finish with jealousy, 'K?)  This happened recently to two bloggers that had large followings.

Their blogs were very well written, funny and always entertaining.  This is probably why they had lots 'o readers and got scads of comments.  Not only were these people outed and hurt, but their FAMILIES were hurt.  Whoever decided to investigate so diligently to harm not only the bloggers but also their wives, husbands, children, etc. is beyond sick - they are lethal!  I'm so disgusted with bottom-feeders that pass for human beings that I can't even tell you in a coherent fashion.  This poisoned person(s) allowed jealousy and envy to consume their life so much that they didn't care if they destroyed others, and FOR WHAT!?!  The satisfaction of knowing that the two blogs no longer exist?  The joy in knowing that they might have broken up marriages/relationships of people they done even know in person?  Who the fuck knows what goes on in the teeny-tiny brains of some rat bastards?  These two people aren't the first that this has happened to in the group of blogs that I read.  It makes me sad.  What makes me even sadder is the glee in which some other bloggers have written about the cruel demise of their fellow writers.  (Petty and jealous, much?)  I enjoyed these blogs.  I didn't care about the blogger's true identity because he/she could have been some silly, ugly, lonely person making all the shit they wrote about up.  Again, I didn't care because they made me laugh, cry, giggle, aroused, think, strive to be a better writer and more.  Did the ass-hat that decided to find out who they really were ever think of THAT before sending copies of the writer's blogs to their families?  No, I don't think their jealously atrophied brain thought of much more than vengeance.

Are ya still with me?  One more little bit of ranting and I'll feel much better.

Anonymity.  The majority of bloggers want to use a pseudonym or let's get classy - a nom de plume.  Even innocuous food, sewing, "mommy" bloggers and the like, don't use their real names/identities.  Fine by me.  For whatever reasons they want to remain anonymous - I DON'T CARE!!!  But for some people, writers who don't show their picture and use their actual name, are like a boil on their asses.  It bothers them to no end that others want to remain incognito. These bloggers with butt-hurt over anonymous bloggers will berate their hidden counterparts for not standing up for reality.  WHO GIVES A FUCK!?! Why do anonymous bloggers get under your skin?  Write your fucking blog under your real name and leave the rest of us alone, please!   The millions of us who write blogs, write them for millions of reasons.  If you want to write your blog under your legal name, you have the freedom to do that. (Is this a great country, or what?)  If you want to write a blog under the name of the pet rabbit you had when you were seven, you have the right to do that and NO ONE should condemn you for it!

WHEW!  Still there?

Life is too fucking complicated to deal with some of the pinheads in Blogland.  I've divested myself of those that regularly pissed me off.  I write and read for my enjoyment and enlightenment. Period.  If the folks that read my blog like it, then  I'm glad.  I, (and probably not you!) will ever be Dooce or any one of the small number of other famous (rich?) bloggers out there.  So, my final words - 

"All you dickwad bloggers who want to hurt, embarrass, put down or banish writers - get over yourselves!"

Thursday, June 7, 2012

Cute and Sexy!

Can you be cute and sexy?  Of course you can!  Take a look at this sweet lingerie set from BODYKANDI.

Adorable, right?

 The nice people at BODYKANDI recently sent this to me to review.  BODYKANDI has a huge selection of lingerie and club wear that ranges from the somewhat modest to super sexy.  I know I like to have some sexy lingerie for when I'm feeling particularly "in the mood" but finding a place with decent inventory is hard.  Not any longer, BODYKANDI has taken care of that problem!  Their prices are very reasonable and the variety of items and sizes is great.
This cami and little skirt is just perfect when I want to be a little bit nice but also a wee bit naughty.  It's quite sexy but also very cute.  The stretchy lace halter provides coverage and a modicum of support.  Definitely wanted when you're more than a B-cup, in my opinion.  The skirt with attached thong covers just enough of my derriere so I don't feel totally exposed.  Both the top and skirt are elasticized for comfort.  I requested the Medium/Large.  I wear a size 14, the top fits me perfectly but the skirt is a little snug around the hips.  I own other pieces of lingerie by the manufacturer of this set, Rene Rofe.  The quality is good and the items hold up well.

Since BODYKANDI has so much to choose from, I'll be visiting the site often.  They even have SHOES!!!

You can find BODYKANDI on Facebook and Twitter, too! 
  • Available Size: Small/Medium and Medium/Large
  • Available Color: Leopard
  • Brand: Rene Rofe
  • Material: 100% Polyester

(I was provided with a complimentary product 
in exchange for an honest review) 

Monday, June 4, 2012

My Dream Of You

It's with great delight and pleasure that I can tell you that one of my favorite bloggers, D.J. Kirkby has had a new book published ~ My Dream of You

To celebrate the publication, D. (Denyse) J., is giving away some fabulous prizes! 
Bothams of Whitby Champagne Afternoon Tea Hamper,  custom made for the My Dream of You launch party.  The contents of hamper are:

Apricot Orange Teabread Butter 
Rice Madeira Cake
Butter Syrup Tea Biscuits
Apricot and Almond Jam, 8oz
Resolution Tea Box, 80 bags
Small Wooden Tray
750ml Bottle of Fratelli Berlucchi (2006) Brut
A limited edition, signed, paperback copy of  My Dream of You

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(Unfortunately this prize open to UK entrants only due to complications with posting all the contents of this hamper to other countries.)  ~ I want to be in the UK!

One of five (5) limited edition, signed, paperback copies of My Dream of You.
One of 15 My Dream of You fridge magnets

A character named after you in D.J.'s next novel!!! ~ Okay, this is TOO cool!

The last three prizes are open to worldwide readers.

All you need to do to get entered in the drawing for these rockin' prizes is ~

Leave a comment on D.J. KIRKBY'S BLOG POST.  The blog will go up at 00:01 BST on June 5, 2012.  (7:01 PM DST - Eastern on June 4)  and/or

Share the post from D.J.'S FACEBOOK page.  and/or

TWEET using the #MDOY and copying in @djkirkby.

(Do 'em all, okay?)

Anyone who reads D.J.'s blog (If you don't, you should!) knows what a fantastic writer she is so it's natural that she would be a successful author.  My Dream of You is Denyse's second book published by Punked Books.  Without Alice was the first.

Denyse writes with true emotion.  When I read her books and stories, I can identify with her characters.  I believe they are real people with real feelings, they are never one-dimensional.  D.J.'s words give them weight and form.  The people that D.J. creates are people you want to know!

Summer is upon us, do yourself a favor and forget reading E.L. James at the beach.  Pick up D.J. Kirkby's, My Dream of You and Without Alice.  You'll read books that are truly good reads!  If you want to know more about Denyse, get From Zaftig to Aspie, her autobiography.  

Click HERE to view her Author's Page!

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