BY LUKE BURNS
White Chocolate Truffle
What black arts could have stripped this chocolate of its natural hue? The horror of the unearthly, corpselike pallor of this truffle's complexion is only offset by its fiendish deliciousness.
Nut Cluster Crunch
This eerie candy will test the sanity of all but those who possess the strongest of constitutions. Strange congeries of almonds, walnuts, and pistachios dance hypnotically within, promising to reveal their eldritch secrets to anyone foolish enough to take a bite of these ancient nut clusters!
Coconut Creme Swirl
They say that the Coconut Creme Swirl sleeps. But if the dread Coconut Creme Swirl slumbers, surely it must also dream. It is certain that while it dozes the Coconut Creme Swirl is absorbed by terrifying visions of exacting its creamy tropical vengeance upon mankind! Consume the Coconut Creme Swirl before it awakens to consume you!
Dark Chocolate Fudge
Dark! All-encompassing, eternal darkness! Human eyes cannot penetrate the stygian blackness of this unholy confection!
Peanut Butter Cup
In 1856, a fisherman from a tiny hamlet on the New England coast made a terrible pact with serpentine beasts from beneath the sea, that he might create the most delicious sweet seen upon the Earth since the days of the great Elder Race. Thus was forged the satanic pact between peanut butter and chocolate that resulted in the mutant offspring you see before you!
Chocolate Cherry Cordial
You must not think me mad when I tell you what I found below the thin shell of chocolate used to disguise this bonbon's true face. Yes! Hidden beneath its rich exterior is a hideously moist cherry cordial! What deranged architect could have engineered this non-Euclidean aberration? I dare not speculate.
There is a dimension ruled by a blind caramel God-King who sits on a vast, cyclopean milk-chocolate throne while his mindless, gooey followers dance to the piping of crazed flutes. It is said that there are gateways in our world that lead to this caramel hell-planet. The delectable Caramel Chew may be one such portal.
Few men dare ask the question "What is toffee, exactly?" All those who have investigated this substance are now either dead or insane.
A very close friend sent this to me awhile ago. I figured after last week it was time for some fun!
12 blew out from under the bed:
Ok...it's doesn't get any better than THIS!!
Chocolate and sex.
They go so WELL together, don't ya think?
Thanks for the sweet treats!
Luckily...I don't like chocolate, lol!
erotic or what.... phew!
would love to get my lips round the last one and lick it clean away!!!
I should not have read this right before lunch! ;)
Ooer missus all that chocolate and sex broke me out in a sweat! ;)
The chocolate cocks..
now I know more than a few who would LOVE to take a BITE out of those...
thanks for the chuckles!
They all look LUSH, esp those cherries!
Mmmmmm.... all very yummy! Have to go buy some chocolate now and summon hubs to the bedroom. Sex AND chocolate. He's a lucky guy. ;O
um...sex and chocolates...yum. I'm not allowed to eat sweets/candy...but in this case...I' guess a nibble or two wouldn't hurt me. hehehe
Yum! I love this post!
Good Thursday to you Nitebyrd !
I rather liked the shape of the toffee nugget :) But I'd have to suck on them very slowly....
I didn't know chocolate could get any better! But it does!
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