Monday, March 8, 2010

Floridiots

Jerry Springer or Geraldo or maybe Phil Donahue once said, "If it was for Florida,Georgia and California, I wouldn't have a show."

Truer words were never spoken about Florida.  Here's a news report from today about one of the brilliant people that live in my state.

(March 8) -- Sometimes multitasking has its limits.

Such is the case in the Florida Keys, where police say a 37-year-old woman crashed her 1995 Ford Thunderbird into another car as she attempted to shave her bikini area.

According to the arrest report, on March 2, Megan Mariah Barnes told Florida State Trooper Gary Dunick that she was on her way to Key West to meet her boyfriend, and that she "wanted to be ready for the visit." So, police say she had her ex-husband, Charles Judy, who was riding in the passenger seat, take the wheel while she attended to her pubic hair.

The results weren't pretty. Going 45 mph, Barnes and Judy are said to have rear-ended a car that had slowed to make a left turn.

A day earlier, Barnes had been convicted of numerous driving infractions, including DUI with a prior arrest and driving with a suspended license. She had been ordered to impound her car, her license was revoked for five years, and she had been placed on probation for nine months.

Dunick told The Citizen newspaper that after the crash, in which two passengers in the other car were treated for minor injuries at an area hospital, Barnes drove for another half-mile before switching seats with Judy in an attempt to make it seem to police as though she had not been driving.

"It is unbelievable," Dunick said. "I'm really starting to believe this stuff only happens in the Keys."

"She was charged with leaving the scene of an accident," said police spokesman Lt. Alex Annunziato, "in addition to all the charges stemming from her earlier violations."

If found guilty of violating the terms of her probation, Barnes could face a year behind bars.

13 blew out from under the bed:

Mortuis said...

As I've always said... stupid people shouldn't breathe.

TAG said...

Wait a minute. Her ex-husband was riding with her to visit her boyfriend?

Wow, Dust Bunny, you found a 24k nugget of golden redneck stupid there.

Now all we need to do is ask you to keep as many of those folks in FL as possible. :D


TAG

Ron said...

Ok, first of all...I LOVE the photo you used.

It's FLAWLESS!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Second, I know what you mean about Florida, trust me. They have the worst drivers because so many people are preoccupied looking for Disney. But, this one takes the cake!

Shaving her bikini area????

Oh well, I'm dying to hear the outcome of this...

X

Hubman said...

And I thought the Massholes were bad!

DJ Kirkby said...

That's just several kinds of freaky!

kittykillkill said...

I can't believe these people.

Loving the new layout too!

Akelamalu said...

WTF - how stupid can people be????

Indigo said...

Ya think ya have problems in Florida? There are stupid people here in England too. I saw a woman driving along the motorway doin 'bout 80mph whilst workin on her laptop.. dumb shit or what? I happened to be passing at 87mph on my f***ing motorbike at the time!! I mean come on people...figure it out it aint hard, although they obviously don't think a all!!

Bella said...

Wow, that is just stupid. Besides, I have a hard enough time getting a good smooth bikini shave in the shower, much less in the car, while behind wheel!!!! :D

Hopelessly In Love said...

This is the stuff that you can't even make up !!! LOL

Bella.. the troubling thought I got after reading your reply is..she prob didn't even bother to shower.. EWWWWW

thanks for the morning giggle Nitebyrd !

~Jen

Riff Dog said...

What do you want to bet she's a California transplant? ;-)

Jackie Adshead said...

Yeh, I read about this before you mentioned it here. What I want to know is what happened to the razor? Surely if you're shaving......and driving....and the car bumps into another car........the razors got to go SOMEWHERE :)

Inferno said...

You must give the shaving lady some kudos for thinking she could get a smooth shave while driving in the first place.

Just the idea of it seems 100% insane.