Thursday, February 17, 2011

A Dog Toy, A Teacher, Masturbation and Me

Awhile ago, the fabulous Yummy from The Sexual Adventures of A Married Woman did some posts on using various objects for sexual purposes. Those posts brought back something that happened when I was young. Since I'm not having sex or even able to play with myself because of my general malaise (don't you LOVE that word? So Alexandre Dumas!) and because of this goddamn shoulder/spine/muscle/nerve injury, I thought y'all might like to hear about it. 

When I was in “middle school”, I was about 4’ 11” tall, flat-chested, slightly chubby, blonde with whiter than white skin. This is a picture of me at about age 15 a couple of years after this incident.
(I KNOW! Cute as a button, huh?)   I also had about as much sexual knowledge as a button.  I knew how babies were made and knew what happened to a boy's penis when he got aroused.  Not that I personally was doing much of that arousing but I got it in theory.

Nichelle Shelby was a Nubian goddess.  She was tall, with huge breasts, a plump round ass and a tiny waist.  Even I, in my white girl world, knew that Michelle was “SEX”.  She also was 15, having been held back a couple of times.  Her academic knowledge might have been lacking but she had a doctorate in sexual knowledge.

Eva Crabtree was my 7th grade art teacher.  Her name almost sounds romantic, maybe conjuring images of Miss Crabtree from The Little Rascals if you’re of a certain age.  WRONG! Eva was most definitely a Miss but she was as old as God and probably was most definitely related to the woman in “American Gothic”.

She was thin as a whip and had a tongue just as sharp.  Miss Crabtree was an “old school” teacher.  She even wore those old black- lace- up- the- front- heels! She wanted order, learning, an appreciation of art and above all obedience. I doubted Miss Eva Crabtree had ever induced one sexual thought in any man or woman.

The desks were similar to drafting tables, they did not have modesty panels. Who woulda thunk that modesty panels were necessary in a 7th grade art class, right? We sat in alphabetical order because Miss Crabtree was a stickler for rules and order. My last name began with an “S” and came directly after Nichelle. We were the last in the alphabet – no T, U, V, etc. so our desks were nestled in the front of a small anteroom in the back of the classroom. Directly in front of us were three boys, two were black, friends of Nichelle's from her neighborhood and the other was an adorable white boy that I sorta had a crush on. He grew up to be a gynecologist. I'm convinced this experience in art class has a MAJOR effect on him.

During this particular class, we were learning how to enamel. Miss Crabtree was in the front of the class writing on the chalkboard when Nichelle whipped out a rubber hot dog, it was actually a dog toy. It looked something like this one in the picture. Girls were not allowed to wear pants to school at that time. Boys had to wear chinos or khaki pants with their shirts tucked in and a belt. As Miss Crabtree droned on about enameling techniques, Nichelle wriggled out of her RED NYLON underpants. (Yes, underpants – granny panties. That's what we had.) I began to blush a bit because I only had white cotton undies. Red nylon ones were scandalous!
Nichelle “pssst” to the boys and they turned around and that's when Nichelle used that rubber hot dog dog toy for a totally unintended purpose! When Miss Crabtree would turn around, Nichelle would close her legs. At one point Miss Crabtree seemed intent on the board, writing away so Nichelle got going like a woman possessed. I couldn't breathe. I wanted to look anywhere but at her hands and exposed crotch but it was like the proverbial train wreck – I couldn't, I was mesmerized. She was getting wetter and wetter because as she worked that toy in her pussy, squishing sounds began to permeate the air. The boys started rubbing the front of their pants. That poor little future gyno, was as red as a beet but it didn't effect his hard-on, clearly visible to me. I think either Nichelle or once of the boys made a noise and Miss Crabtree whipped around like a top. Nichelle had the hot dog poised mid-thrust, the boys hands on their crotches and I looking like a deer caught in headlights all seemed frozen in time as Miss Crabtree bellowed “MISS SHELBY WHAT IN GOD'S NAME ARE YOU DOING!?!” Then her head split open as she yelled, she quivered, she quaked, fire shot out of her eyes and mouth and a portal to Hell yawned between her out thrust arms. (Not really but it sure seemed like it to me!) I wanted to die. I noticed that my crush had a wet spot on the front of his pants. I figured he peed himself when Miss Crabtree screeched, 'cause I sure as hell almost did. Later I realized he ejaculated.

Suddenly, Miss Crabtree looked at me. Those angry laser eyes pierced my very soul. She hollered, “MISS NITEBRYD WHAT IS GOING ON BACK THERE?” A resounding hush fell over the classroom. Was I ready to be coherent and provide a detailed explanation? Hell NO! I sounded like an outboard motor, “IYAIYAIYAIYAIYA”, and promptly started to cry. As Miss Crabtree stomped back to were we sat, grabbing Nichelle by her arm, she yanked her out of the seat. (Teachers could touch and even hit kids back in the Dark Ages.) Nichelle's red nylon panties dropped to the floor but the toy hot dog remained in her hand. Miss Crabtree, still holding Nichelle's arm with one hand, pointed to the abandoned underwear with the other and shrilled, “RETREIVE YOUR UNDERGAMENT, MISS SHELBY!” To my absolute horror I realized that Nichelle was holding back laughter!!! What a woman! The whispers and giggles in the room sounded like two million bees had been released in there.

Nichelle and the three boys were marched to the principal's office, I was sent to the nurse's office with instructions to be sent home. Much hilarity ensued as I tried to explain what happened to my mother and sister/mother. I did think I was going to die right there and then from acute embarrassment.

I'm not sure what punishment Nichelle and the guys received because they were back in class the next time it met. I desperately wanted to ask Nichelle why she did that and did it feel good. But I didn't, I really was painfully shy.
I didn't even have a name for it to look it up in the library. Obviously, I eventually found out about dildos, vibrators, fucking, oral sex, etc. but this incident that happened so many years ago was my very first voyeur experience. I just wish I could have enjoyed it more!

27 blew out from under the bed:

wendy said...

rather interesting how our "early years" of sexual learning and experiences shapes us.

Ron said...

What a freakin' faaaaaaabulous story, Nitebyrd!

And the way you told it was brilliant. I could actually see this happening!

Oh, I wish I had been there to see the expression on Miss Crabtree's face!!

And I loved this....

"He grew up to be a gynecologist. I'm convinced this experience in art class has a MAJOR effect on him."


Hey, cute picture of you!

X ya, Sis!

ZomBee said...


Sunny said...

Wow. Just Wow!!

Inferno said...

That was such an awesome story and you told it so well I could literally see it in my minds eye.

Best thing I've read in a good long while.

tattytiara said...

When you're born fabulous it tends to show itself early in life. And extravagantly.

Nolens Volens said...

Wow! If it happened to me when I was about your age, I would've died from priapism. If it had happened to me at my current age, I'd pull it out and stroke. Forget about the others in the room...I wanna get in on the action! ;)

Vixen said...

Oh. OH. Is it wrong to tell you how hot this story made me?!


BlacknickSculpture said...

They were back in class the next day???? lolololol. I wish I went to your school Nitebyrd!

I went to Catholic school. In 6yh grade my friend got expelled for refusing to sit up straight and fold his hands!

I can't imagine what would have happened if one of the girls in my class pulled your friend Shelby's stunt!

mina said...

What a fabulous story, oh the things we didn't realize we were learning in school.

Akelamalu said...

Are you sure you weren't in a biology lesson? LOL

Deech said...

Obviously, I went to the wrong school! That's a great story Nitebyrd. Thank you for sharing...

UP said...

A. You were really cute in the picture,

B. Ms. Crabtree sounds like an icey be-atch.


C.Holy shit, awesome post!

Anonymous said...

It seems I sat next to the wrong people in class! I wonder if she ever retells this one... I'm sure the lads do.

Jen Fooled Around said...

what a great story!!

I wonder what ever became of that girl...

nitebyrd said...

Wendy ~ Yes, it's true. The world was on the brink of the sexual revolution, feminist movement, in deep with Vietnam - so much was going on. It was a very interesting time to grow up in. And having some crazy classmates was such a plus!

Ron ~ Thanks! I really hated school and was never a scholar. I did like art and home economics. Since this happened in an art class and because it was SO freakin' out of control, it stuck with me.

ZomBee ~ Not so much. Other than some bomb scares, a couple race riots and a HUGE fight in one of my history classes between an avid anti-war kid and three representatives from the army that came to speak, the 12 years I spent in the NY public school system was pretty damn boring.

Sunny ~ LOL! If I had been able to speak during the incident, that word would probably have come out of my mouth!

Inferno ~ Thank you, very much! I'm flattered.

tattytiara ~ Yeah. Nichelle was pretty fabulous. She continued her fabulousness right through high-school with only one short 9-month break!

NV ~ Miss Crabtree's voice woulda immediately put an end to any hard-on you had no matter what your age. But I know Nichelle would definitely have appreciated what you could have showed her. That dog toy would have been cast aside in a heartbeat!

Vixen ~ I am happy has hell that you enjoyed it! Not a thing wrong with that! ;)

Blacknick ~ I had friends in Catholic school and heard their stories. YIKES! Those nuns were like Miss Crabtree on crack! The public schools, at least where I grew up, were not too rigid - possibly it was the era - one in constant flux, transitioning from the innocent '50's, early '60's?

Mina ~ Thank you. I learned lots of stuff in school but usually not from the teachers!

nitebyrd said...

Akelamalu ~ OH! My 10th grade biology teacher was so cute! I wonder what he would have done if this had happened in his class? LOL

Joker ~ You're welcome! I think it was a pretty average school at the time. This was really the only highlight I have.

UP ~ Thank you, hun! Miss Crabtree was everyone's nightmare teacher. She was a wonderful artist though. Glad you liked the post!

Sex, Drugs and Bacon Sandwiches ~ I imagine they do. Nichelle, the 3 boys and I finished middle school and went on to the same high school but we never brought this up again. Not that I was close to any of them but we did share several classes throughout the years. Thank you for stopping by and I'll be coming over to visit you!

Jen ~ I have no clue. She did have a child during high school. The only reunion I went to was my 10 year high school reunion and she wasn't there. I'd like to think she became rich designing vibrators and dildos! LOL

mrj said...

Wow, I never had any friends like that in 7th grade! If I did, I'd have learned to masturbate a lot earlier, dammmmnnnn!


Grump said...

Great story you had me falling off my seat laughing. I hope no problems in that department for you these days.
I was caught fucking the head girl on her desk.
The deputy head master walked into the sixth form classroom. He was showing a prospective student and his parents around. He skilfully spun around and pushed the visitors out quicker than you can say jack knife.
We had to do quite a bit of penance for that little misdemeanour.
Woof x

Indi said...

nitebyrd ~ I had a crush on my french teacher.she was so dam hot and I a little girl, well about 14... I fell in love with her, but she didn't know it, her accent blew me away... and yeah I used to masterbate every night thinking about her n me... this was so hot nitebyrd..... HOT!!



Jackie Adshead said...

I love this story, and read it all with a huge grin on my face! You've told it so well, that I can picture it all, and can only admire the teacher for the way she handled it! That sort of incident can't happen too often..... can it?!

What happened to your friend, Nichelle? Did she go on to become the Head Principal of the school, or did she open a nunnery?

nitebyrd said...

mrj ~ I can't say we were actually "friends", more like acquaintances that shared a special moment in time. Thank you for visiting!

Grump ~ Had I been sitting next to you, I probably would have died from embarrassment! But if I'd been a bit older, I woulda joined in! Thanks!

Indi ~ I had a girl-crush on my 2nd grade teacher, Miss Campbell. She was beeyouteeful! No masturbating but as you can see, I still remember her!

Jackie ~ Thank you! I know you can appreciate a dedicated art teacher! LOL I've never heard of something like it happening to anyone else, yet! I think that Nichelle probably didn't matriculate into any learning institution other than high school and living close to New York City, the possibilities for talents like hers were/are endless. ;)

Red Shoes said...

OH My GOD!!!!


I NEVER have had anything like that happen in MY classes...


Danielle said...

I wish I could have had Something like this happen to me when I was young. May have shaped me a whole different way!

Indi said...

nitebyrd ~ It's amazing isn't it just how many nice women you remember and how many arsewipes we try to forget... and like me, with plenty of time I have forgotten her... the arsewipe I mean... have a nice day nitebyrd, am off to me bed. it's hard work being liked and appreciated. Phew ((((mwuah))) will e mail you. Oh and a BIG THANK YOU for me e card, it was so funny...a squirrel in a pointy hat with a balloon. Nice one babe.. much appreciated ;-*



Spiky Zora Jones said...

OMG...that was a FABULOUS story. I was into it from the beginning. I could see it all in my was wonderfully told. What an incredible bard you are.

school didn't you just love it. I did. you never knew what was going to happen.


Unknown said...

I love that your friend was able to laugh that off. What a woman, indeed!