Who says the art of writing letters is dead?

Dear Ugly People,

You're welcome.

Sincerely,

Alcohol  

 

Dear Noah,

We could have sworn you said the ark wasn't leaving till 5.

Sincerely,

Unicorns

Dear Icebergs,

Sorry to hear about the global warming. Karma's a bitch.

Sincerely,

The Titanic

Dear America,

You produced Miley Cyrus. Bieber is your punishment.

Sincerely,

Canada

Dear Yahoo,

I've never heard anyone say, "I don't know, let's Yahoo! it..." just saying...

Sincerely,

Google

Dear 2010,

So I hear the best rapper is white and the president is black? WTF happened?!

Sincerely,

1985

Dear Windshield Wipers,

Can't touch this.

Sincerely,

That Little Triangle

Dear girls who have been dumped,

There are plenty of fish in the sea... Just kidding! They're all dead!!!

Sincerely,

BP

Dear Fox News,

So far, no news about foxes.

Sincerely,

Unimpressed

EDIT: The following letter is NOT funny at all. Not. At. All.

Dear Nickleback,

That's enough.

Sincerely,

The World

Dear Osama Bin Laden,

Marco....

Sincerely,

United States

Dear Batman,

What was your power again?

Sincerely,

Superman

Dear Customers,

Yes, we ARE making fun of you in Vietnamese.

Sincerely,

Nail Salon Ladies

Dear World,

Please stop freaking out about 2012. Our calendars ends there because some Spanish d-bags invaded our country and we got a little busy OK?

Sincerely,

The Mayans

Dear White People,

Don't you just hate immigrants?

Sincerely,

Native Americans

 

Dear iPhone,

Please stop spellchecking all of my rude words into nice words. You piece of shut.

Sincerely,

Every iPhone User

Dear Trash,

At least you get picked up...

Sincerely,

The Girls of Jersey Shore

Dear Man,

It's cute, but can you pick up peanuts with it?

Sincerely,

Elephant

My daughter sent me these. Pretty damn funny, right? (Except that Nickelback one.)  I've got a review coming up for BABELAND and then some posts about things I've been thinking about.  My brain is a dark, twisted place.