Tuesday, October 16, 2007


I'm feeling blah today. Kind of semi-depressed and sad. I'm not really sure why. I've been working on a blog so all y'all that stumble in here could get to know me a bit more. I don't want to say I've hit a wall but I'm stuck. My theory has always been even if you are on death's door when someone asks you how you're doing, you say, "Fine." I'm finding it most difficult to tell even the unknowns in cyberspace that my life is out of control and I'm responsible for most of it.

A wonderful friend of mine told me I was like a caged animal yearning to be free but comfortable in the cage because I'd been there so long. This is true. Why couldn't I grow girly-balls earlier than I did?

I can't cry over what's happened but only look forward to what's to be. I'm trying to. Really, I am.

Update: I found this over at Fancies & Fuckeries:"

width="300" height="180" alt="What Kind of Blogger Are You?" border="0" />

8 blew out from under the bed:

Vi said...

Hey, you've grown those girlie balls now mate! Better late than never!

Oh, and I'm a purist expert undiscovered blogger!

nitebyrd said...

That's true, Vi. Now I want to find a guy with balls so I can lose the other kind that my X lacked!

Us "undiscovered" need to stick together!

Jackie Adshead said...

Just say what's on your mind, and you'll find a lot of others have the same thoughts and feelings going on too!

ronjazz said...

Nothing goes undiscovered in my book, honey. I'm always looking for something...:)

nitebyrd said...

Jackie - my thoughts right now are like a herd of hummingbirds. I'm trying to get them to settle down.

Ron - may we both find what we are looking for. Over and over and over!

Constance said...

Good Thursday afternoon to you, NiteByrd !

First, thank you for coming by to visit me, and leaving the nice comment on my blog ! I appreciate it ! You are always welcome to hang out there :)

Second, I will be 50 in a few months, somewhat close to you in age, and have found that having a blog is an awesome way to say exactly what I feel when and how I feel it.

Because it is cyber-space ad not 'real" life, there is an anonymity that gives comfort and thr relief of truth when you unburden yourself; and you find out that, lo and behold, there are definitely others out there that understand and can relate !

It took me YEARS to even know what I was really feeling and be accurate about it - I had been repressed for so long, and din't understand the layers of emotions, i.e. depression is often anger turned against oneself, etc.

Loving Annie

Rupert said...

It took me quite a while to be able to start to write about what is going on in my life as well. Start with baby steps. Simple things that are happening. Pretty soon you'll feel more free to open up to the real issues going on.

Looking forward to reading more!

Oh, and I'm coming to Florida the first week in December. *grin*

nitebyrd said...

Thank you so much, Annie. I have found so many kindred souls in cyberspace. They have been a tremendous help.

Rupert - Thank you, too. I'm not Walt but I can make your dreams come true. *big, evil grin*