Saturday, December 22, 2007

I've been reading too many sex blogs.

The other day my daughter was relating yet another story about her crazy neighbor. My daughter & SIL live in a townhouse. The woman next door has exhibited bizarre behavior over the past 8 months they have lived there.

Apparently the woman was outside in the front of the townhouse on the cell phone. My daughter heard her talking on the way out to pick up her mail. Upon turning to go back into her house, my daughter actually saw the woman. She was still speaking on the cell phone but also urinating on the tree in her front yard!

Mothers can understand when I say that many times you listen to your children but their words dance happily along the outer surface of your ears and never really penetrate into the alert part of your brain.

I said to my daughter, her words cha-cha-ing in my ears, “Maybe she’s a slave or submissive and she’s on the phone completing an order from her Dominant.”

My camera wasn’t handy so I found this picture that captures the expression on my daughter’s face perfectly. My daughter is very beautiful. She holds no resemblance to this primate except for the look of total shock at her mother’s knowledge of such subjects.

My daughter is 30 and is a breast cancer survivor. She’ll deal with it. Eventually.

16 blew out from under the bed:

Vi said...

hahahaha!!!! Children forget that their parents are human and know this sort of stuff! Have a good xmas baby!

Ronjazz said...

Saw your post this morning and have been laughing all day!

Chris King said...

Perhaps she was just attending to her bush?!

Joanna Cake said...

Well at least you didnt get the obligatory 'Ohhhhh Muuuuuum!' for your lack of knowledge. I think it's good for them to be reminded that sometimes we do actually know more than our kids :) Merry Christmas x

Mary Ann said...

Came to your blog from Annie's. Thanks for the laugh.

Rupert said...

That's awesome! So when you go visit your daughter are you going to go talk to her neighbor and compare notes?

Anonymous said...

Excellent! I agree with Rupert - you've got to find out what she was up to!

Lady in red said...

lol that was priceless. I am always having to watch what I say to my son as they would be so shocked to hear soe of the things I want to say coming from their mother.

Why is it so shocking coming from your mother when you wouldn't bat an eye if it was someone else?

Jackie Adshead said...

I'm laffing out loud! That's so funny!! Your poor daughter is probably emotionally scarred for life now!!!

DJ Kirkby said...

Your daughter is a breast cancer survivior...somethings you can get over, yes...but comming to the realisation that your mother had a life before you came along isn't nessesarily one of those things!

The Fellatio Artist & The Geek said...

I laughed and then caught a whole 'nother level with the "my daughter is 30"

Ours range from 18 years to just under 18 months (I know what were we thinking)

We keep catching ourselves using euphemisms just in time before tender ears. The 12 year old announced cheerfully the other day about someone calling her a lesbo, that "I didn't even know what that was back then, we didn't have cable TV." We must pull our heads away from the laptops long enough to see what they are watching!

If you ever find your sex-blog quotient gets out of balance the other way, come see ours. I think you'll like the posts labeled Coitus Interuptus.

nitebyrd said...

I'm glad everyone enjoyed this post. It was one of those "for the books" moments!

Rupert - I tend to stay away from people that pee on trees. It doesn't seem right to disturb them, for whatever reason.

Moanna - Welcome! Thanks for stopping by.

TFA&G - I never really get enough sex, um ... sex BLOGS, that is. I'll be sure to check y'all out soon.

DJ - Yes, my daughter is a breast cancer survivor. She was diagnosed at 28 and has been cancer free a little over a year. We will be participants in the Susan G. Komen "Race For The Cure" on 01/19/2008. This will be our second year. I walk, not run. I want to live.

Constance said...

Good Sunday morning to you, Nitebyrd !

Snicker :) too funny. Kids think parents never 'do it'. How wrong they are !

Happy New Year 2008 to you --

Loving Annie

Eve in Chains said...

I often wonder at my own level of knowledge and know that it comes from reading the antics of fellow bloggers. At least it's not fiction (well, most of it, anyway).

It's strange, at any age, to find out your parents are human.


nitebyrd said...

Eve and Annie, thanks for stopping by. Hope you both had a good New Year's. Why children think their parents don't have sex is beyond me. I mean, THEY are here, aren't they? :)

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