Just so y’all know I torment my children with equality.
My son has recently started to date a very Christian girl. She has him going to church and has made him cut back on his partying. Even though I'm basically a Pagan, I think she is a good influence on my son who sometimes gets carried away with enjoying himself.
A couple of weeks ago he was bringing her home for the first time. I was under strict instructions not to have any of my sex toys and/or catalogs lying around the house. Just so you know I’m a “Slumber Parties” distributor. I don’t just leave dildos scattered hither and yon around the living room. That would be fun though, don’t you think?
Having just received a stock order of these:
I put them into a cardboard box and left it on a small table until I could put batteries in them to “test them out.” (*wink, wink*) The table happened to be by the DVD holder.
I then left to do something else. Leaving the room “dildo” free …. Kind of.
My son and his girlfriend come home, introductions were made and they decide to watch a movie. My son is a big boy, tall and solid. He is not particularly graceful and was nervous that his new girl was meeting his somewhat odd mother. Needless to say, as he went to get a DVD, he kicked the table and the vibrators, dildos, plus assorted lubes and lotions came flying out of the box all over the floor!
I only wished I had a camera to capture the look on his face. It was something like this:
His girlfriend initially had a “deer in the headlights” look but quickly dissolved into hysterical laughter and damn near passed out from laughing as my son made diving leaps to snatch up the toys and bottles. That “double header” is 18” long, about 4” around and is wobbly – I almost broke a vein in my head laughing at him with that one in his hand. He didn’t find the whole escapade too funny which made is so much better for me.
Somehow I feel like I scored a little “gotcha” for Tony as well as myself and gave him a dog/human high-5. It was a good day!
Terrors Hiding in the Forest
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