Monday, August 9, 2010

I love mankind, it's people I can't stand!

The great Charles Shultz wrote those words for Snoopy in Peanuts. They sum up my outlook on human beings perfectly. I seriously fucking hate people.

*** WARNING! I AM GOING TO INSULT PEOPLE THAT CALL THEMSELVES “GOOD CHRISTIANS” IN THIS POST. IF THAT’S GOING TO BOTHER YOU THEN YOU’D BETTER FUCK OFF RIGHT NOW!!! ***

I’ve never been a “people person”. As a child, I was painfully shy and had been made to feel second rate by my mother and sister. I only had a few BFF’s in my early and teenage years. And only one very close friend in college. I’m skeptical, wary, cynical and cautious. I never want to be in the spotlight so I spend a lot of time observing. Let me tell you, most of the time the view sucks ass. People are pathetic as a group. There are some individuals that I like very much and some that I even love, but I don’t have a dearth of friendships or even acquaintances. The mourners at my funeral will all be able to come in a mini-van. Since becoming a zombie, my inclination to make additional in –person/real life friends is nil. If y’all watch “Dexter” you’ll understand when I say I identify with him. The total lack of emotion he has resonates with me. Dexter has to fake normal human emotions in business and social situations. It’s truly mentally and physically exhausting. I do the same. Now, before you get your shorts all up in a knot, I’m not a psychopath. I haven’t killed anyone … yet. I just have no emotions and must pretend. It is a totally tiring process, which leads me to why I hate people and why you’d better watch your ass when someone says they’re a “good Christian.” My observation is, if they have to tell you that then they probably aren’t.

Years ago, I used to be a human and was an excellent sales person. I could sell thousands of dollars worth of “limited edition collector plates”. If someone could sell that shit, they could sell anything. Recently, I began selling BeautiControl products because I really like them and believe in them. I don’t get all fanatical about them but will chat them up if someone is interested. This is a multi-level marketing scheme like all that stuff – Tupperware, Juice Plus, Slumber Parties, etc. I’m not interested in “building a team” – see the “I hate people” references. But I will do the occasional home party when asked.

I was asked by a young school teacher to host a Spa Party at her church. I agreed, sent her all the necessary info, called her to follow-up, etc. I did what I am supposed to do. She also did exactly what she was supposed to. The day before, I called her to get a count of attendees. She told me she had 10 RSVP’s. I arrived promptly at the arranged time and waited 30 minutes for the rest of her guests. Two guests besides the hostess arrived. One of those guests brought her 12 year old daughter. I went on with the Spa, demonstrating, answering questions – in short doing my job with a smile. Both of her guests booked a Spa. Each one was given three little gifts for booking the party. One of the guests ordered some product but had no money. I agreed to wait (not giving her the product – I might be a zombie but I ain’t stupid!) until the following Friday when she got paid. She never called. Both women scheduled their parties this past weekend. At the end of the evening, I got prayed over so that Jesus would cure me of smoking and take away my hot flashes. (Being the Godless bitch that I am, can you imagine the look on my face!?!) I’m open minded and although I knew Jesus probably had better things to do and doesn't want to mess with Mother Nature, I went along with it. (Still smoking through my hot flashes as I write this.)

I once again sent the two confirmed hostesses their info, called to follow-up, left voice mail messages because they didn’t answer their phones, etc. Again, did what I’m supposed to do. *crickets* Tuesday, I once again called each lady. The one who answered her phone said she was still trying to get a hold of her pastor to see if she could use the church to hold the Spa. I told her to please call me by Thursday to let me know. She makes no mention of the fact that she still owes money for the product she’s ordered from the original party. In the meantime, a woman who I’ve never waxed before called me for an appointment on Friday at 2:00 for waxing.(I don't know if she is a "Christian" but she pissed me off so I'm putting her in this "I Hate People" post.) The second Spa lady still hasn’t called me and now it’s Wednesday. Call again, leave another message.

Thursday comes and goes, nothing from the first Spa lady, whose party is on Friday. I will not call again. This ain’t baseball, you don’t get three strikes with me. I get up very early Friday to do some house cleaning and get ready for the waxing. I’m all set by 2:00 and I sit down with DJ Kirkby’s book “Without Alice” to wait. At 4:00, I call the Saturday Spa lady again and leave another message. The waxing lady hasn’t called or shown up. I unplug the wax pot. At least my floors got washed and carpets got vacuumed, so it wasn’t a total loss.

Saturday at 10:00 am, I call the woman who is supposed to have the Spa that day. I leave a voice mail that I need to hear from her by 3:00 or the party will be cancelled. At 3:17 she calls me to tell me, she’s sorry and that, “Yes! The party is still on!”. I make all my preparations and show up at her house at the scheduled time. She tells me she doesn’t know how many guests she’ll have as she hasn’t gotten any RSVP’s. (I’m truly glad that I didn’t have a weapon handy.) I had prepared for 10 people. She then informs me that her 12 year old daughter is having a sleep-over that night and she knows the mothers of 2 girls will be coming. At the time the party is supposed to happen, she asks me if she should call her invitees since no one has shown up. *sigh*. The woman who was supposed to have a Spa on Friday, the same one that never bothered to pay for the product she ordered, was also supposed to come to this party. She didn’t (her excuse was, she was dog sitting) and I still have heard from her.

Fifteen minutes later, the two mothers of the sleep-over girls show up, one has a 10 and 8 year old, the other a 2.5 year old. I now am the entertainment for the sleep-over. Before I start, the hostesses begins with a prayer. Luckily, it was silent ‘cause they sure as hell didn’t what to know what I was saying. I go through my performance for three women and four little girls. Needless to say, I had no orders from this party but really didn’t care. I have no desire to see any of these women again.

So you can see my weekend was just ducky.


When I was young someone told me about The Golden Rule, it made sense. Even being an antisocial type of person, I figured that was a good rule to follow in life. I also was told that God made us in his image and that Jesus died for our sins. If we’re made in God’s image then he must know we have good and evil in us, right? Our job should be to minimize the evil and maximize the good. Free will and all that. If Jesus died for our sins then what’s the point of praying to God to forgive us? Do people pray to God on Sunday to forgive them for fucking people over all week and have a fresh start on Monday? The “church ladies” told me that I must open my heart to find Jesus. Well, my shriveled little heart is open but I don’t hang out in prison or rehab so I haven’t “found” him yet. They also adamantly disagreed with me when I said that I believe that God is Allah, Jehovah, Buddha, etc. “No, no” they said. Their God was God and his son was Jesus.

My point is, if you don’t go to church, if you never “find” Jesus, if you live your life trying to do what’s right, will God forsake you? Or, will God love you because you spoke to him in the beauty of the world or in a hospital room or on a battlefield or on top of a mountain and he knows you tried to live in what you understood to be his image? I don’t know. The “church ladies” have a definite theory about it but I’m not inclined to take it to heart because they couldn’t live, in my opinion, by one very simple rule.

24 blew out from under the bed:

fairyhedgehog said...

I'm not the right person to answer this because I think there's as much evidence for God as there is for the Tooth Fairy or Santa Claus.

I'm sorry you've been screwed over by people who should know better.

nitebyrd said...

fairyhedgehog ~ Thank you. At least I can come here to bitch and moan. My real friends understand. ;)

CrystalChick said...

Great video to go with a perfectly deserved rant!
While I am probably your opposite in the people department, as I'll talk to anyone anywhere and could make friends on the spot with many types of people, I still do know what you are saying here and it had to be very frustrating.
You'll have to pray really hard that Jesus not send any more 'church ladies' your way! HAHA
Seriously though, I have no issue with people who claim to believe in this, that, or the other thing, I'm pretty open-minded but just some common courtesy goes a very long way and you are right about that one simple thing. Following that rule would put an end to a whole lot of bullshit.

Hope this week is better!!

nitebyrd said...

Mary ~ The weird thing is that random people talk to me all the time! I know more life histories of stranger than anyone I know! I also have no problem with others beliefs as long as they have no problem with mine. Mutual respect, common sense and common courtesy should be practiced by all carbon based two-legged life forms.

Anonymous said...

I could have written that about Dexter, I do it every single damn day.

Most people suck, and not in a good way!

Ron said...

You and I are like two peas in pod because I feel so much the same way you do when it comes to having a few close friends and not being such a people person. Although most people SEE me as a people person. And like you, random people talk to me all the time, so we must give off the vibe of being approachable.

As far as the whole "christian thing" goes, I hear ya. I've met many like you described here, but also many who are not. I think the ones that are extreme; allowing their own views get in the way, unfortunately cause the sterio-type.

My personal belief is that God is within me, so my only goal is to listen that voice inside me which guides me to my ever-evolving relationship with God. Just like life, my relationship with God continually changes.

"Or, will God love you because you spoke to him in the beauty of the world or in a hospital room or on a battlefield or on top of a mountain and he knows you tried to live in what you understood to be his image?"

Yes, exactly. That's what I believe.

Enjoyed your rant AND the video!

X ya, Sis!

nitebyrd said...

Sage ~ Really? I wouldn't ever have thought that about you. You sure get fired up over Democrats and stupidity.;) It is exhausting though, isn't it?

Ron ~ I just don't know what it is? I can be with other people and the random ones always talk to ME! WTF?

My personal opinion is that people like us do very well making friends via the internet. Some of people I've met online are truly my best friends.

nitebyrd said...

Oh! I try never to discuss religion and/or politics because they are always touchy subjects. But this was just too much for me. If all praying and thanking Jesus, etc. had been left out, I could have dealt better with the whole situation.

Indi said...

nitebyrd ~ That's it luv you bitch all ya wanna. I'm here for you, I'll listen to your rantings. Unfortunately in life we come across these lesser mortals who take take take... basically their what I call 'cunts!' yes I know it's a harsh word but if the glove fits? I fully understand and have to agree with all that you said/say. I had a badge once it said 'themore I see of people, the more I like my dog!' Pretty much somes it up eh? (((((hugs))))) from a non christian no gooder ;)

Indi xxx

Akelamalu said...

You're not antisocial you just got pissed about by some truly ignorant people!

Debs said...

I'm not surprised you're fed up with them. Religion or not, their manners are crap.

TAG said...

When people around me want to discuss politics or religion I tell them that both those topics are like their underwear. I hope it's comfortable. I hope it fits them. But that does not mean I need to see it.

You rant on Nitebyrd. It's your blog. Rant about any and everything you want.

TAG


PS: I do make an exception about the seeing you in your underwear thing for certain ladies. :D

peedee said...

I can be really antisocial when I want to be and I go through phases.

And as far as religion goes, I could care less what someone thinks/believes. Just dont push it on me or judge me(or let me know your judging me) and we'll be fine.

Rant on dear. Some people, including churchladies are assclowns.

Karma. She's a bitch and she keeps track. =)

And Dexter rocks. So I guess you and Sage do too! lol

Sexy Sixty said...

Engaging post my dear. Remind me to tell you sometime about the time my ex and got swept into Amway. What a ride that was.

Chin up my friend. Yes there are lots of assholes in this world, but an occasional smile from a friend in NY may help to cheer you up.

*smiling from ear to ear in upstate New York*

BlacknickSculpture said...

Sorry to hear you got jerked around by those rude aholes. On the bright side you found out what "good" Christians they were before you invested anymore of your time and energies on them!

DJ Kirkby said...

I'm with you on this one. FFS people like that piss me right off. xo

....... said...

well you have known me long enough to know I couldn't have said any of what you did better ;)

I totally agree.. Isn't it funny that the loathing at the human race gets worse in the throws of Menopause. I use to be 'social' myself.. remember my line of work?

Now I shiver when I need to even go into the grocery store...which by the way if you talk to the cashiers, the WORST day to work (due to NASTY PEOPLE)is Sunday when all the good "Church goers" wander in after services.... makes me go hmmmmm..

love you Nite~

nitebyrd said...

Indi ~ While over here “cunt” is probably one of the worst things you can call a woman, I got used to it when I was in Oz. It’s the national curse world there, I think. I don’t fault anyone for their beliefs. If that’s what makes their lives good and whole, more power to them. I do fault people when they don’t “practice what they preach.” You, Indi, are one of the best people I know!

Akelamalu ~ I’m not very tolerant of stupidity and ignorance. So, I’m not very tolerant of most people hench, I figure I’m antisocial. I do like my blog and internet friends very much.

Debs ~ Thank you for visiting! Yes, religion, race, creed, color, have nothing to do with being a respectable human being. In this case because they were so ostentatious with their beliefs yet their actions belied them, I needed to call them out on it.

TAG ~ That’s a brilliant response! I think I’ll steal it. I’ll keep posting pictures of me in my underwear as a thank you. ;)

peedee ~ I always want proof that someone isn’t an asshole before I’ll start a friendship. Sometimes people are good at disguising their true selves and I get burned but that’s how it goes. I’ve been told I’m a good friend. I hope so, I try to be. Karma is a bitch and I love Karma for that reason. Us bitches have to stick together. I absolutely LOVE Dexter but have to wait for the DVD’s ‘cause I don’t have Showtime. But it’s good because then I can watch them all at once!

Sexy Sixty ~ OMG! Amway! That’s like the Supreme Satan of all multi-level marketing companies, isn’t it? SS, it’s people like you that make getting up in the morning and gnawing through the restraints worthwhile!

BlacknickScultpure ~ Hey! Thanks for coming by! I’m going to be posting about you!
(I won the most GORGEOUS sculpture from this AMAZING artist, recently!!!) I’m glad that I have a place to blow off steam about pin-heads and that there’s people like you who nod their heads in agreement and say, “Atta girl!”

DJ ~ Oh! You have no idea how pissed off I was. Then again, I guess you do since I wrote it down! LOL I’ve just finished “Without Alice” and am mulling over my thoughts about Stephen. I think I’ve almost forgiven him. ;)

Indi said...

nitebyrd ~ *smiles* Thank you that means the world to me ((((MWAUH)))

Indi

xxx

nitebyrd said...

Moon ~ You know that you are one of my favorite, most special people! We met through the "interwebz" and knew we were gonna be BFF's! Girl, if you're telling me that people are getting to you, I know it's bad! Seriously, we HAVE to get together very soon for some margaritas and talk. Have you got your phone back?

Grump said...

Fully agree with what you say. Over here in Australia, I don't think I have ever had to pray with anyone. We just don't put that sort of thing onto others.
Thanks for the post x

nitebyrd said...

Grump ~ I absolutely LOVE Australia! Victoria in particular. I so want to go back. I just think people should be what they say they are. That's not too much to ask, is it?

Grump said...

I remember you visited the other year. I enjoyed your descriptions of Victoria.
I originally came from the UK but have lived here in Melbourne for 30 plus years. I love it too.
X

ZomBee said...

If your gonna be in my brain again anytime soon could you keep an eye out for a gray sock with yellow stripes? THANKS!