Monday, September 6, 2010

Last week sucked!

Hi! How y’all doin’? Hope you’ve had a nice Labor Day weekend.  This past week has basically sucked ass for me but I’ll get to that in a bit.  No matter how shitty I thought my week was, it was all puppy breath and unicorn farts compared to what a co-worker of mine is going through.

Susan is not someone I pal around with outside of work. She’s very proper, she loves and is loved by her husband and children, she is a woman of “faith” and she is very sure about how others should act.  She doesn’t drink, smoke or swear.  Obviously, we would never, ever be good friends but we have worked together for 4 years.  This past Thursday night, Susan suffered a massive stroke.  She had just turned 50.

Currently, she is in ICU in a medically induced coma until her brain stops swelling, paralyzed on her left side.  I don’t know if she will recover so if you would, please say a prayer to whatever God you pray to, for Susan.  Thank you.

Last week started out pleasantly enough.  On Saturday, Mulder and I traveled to Orlando to see my niece, nephew-in-law and great nephew who were visiting from New York.  We had a good time, I got my drink on a bit and had a good meal.  Sunday brought the first shock that set me to crying and feeling like hammered shit.  (Y’all know what happened and I’m not going into it.) The one thing I do want to say about it is that the incident confirmed my conviction that some people are just evil. Whether the person that “outted” the blogger did it because of spite or because they thought “they were doing the right thing”, the bottom line is that they hurt other human beings. We don’t know and may never know the extent of the hurt and damage that was done to this blogger and their family.  It was a wicked thing to do. Being a terminal zombie,  things that may just upset others,  tend to set me off and drop me right into the abyss.  Once there, it’s a struggle to get out. (I’m still working on climbing out this time but I’m in deep, folks.)

 Tuesday, my computer crashed. My hard drive is fucked.  I don’t know if anything can and/or will be recovered.  As of today, the computer guy is still working on it.  I can’t buy a new computer right now and am working on an old that requires the hamsters to be fed every couple hours so they’ll keep running on the power wheel.  I’ve got no clue how long this machine will last . I bought an extra Lotto ticket this week.  You never know, right?  Friday, as I was getting all giddy about having 4 days off, the news of Susan’s stroke, pushed me further into the abyss.  I’m terrified for her and her family.  It also made me think that I’m tired of being the strong person, the person that can fix everything.  I’m tired of worrying about bills and working.  I’ve always sneered at women who are “delicate flowers”.  Those kind of women that are taken care of by their partners.  But right about now, I want to be the most delicate and precious of flowers.  A rare bloom that is cherished, protected and loved.   Being able to stop being strong, to have someone say, “Don’t worry, nitebyd. I’m going to fix it for you. You just sit back and watch movies.” would be the most wonderful thing in the world.

It probably won’t happen but depressed or not, I can still dream.  Saturday, I did a full-on-balls-out cleaning of my bedroom and bathroom. Sunday, woke up with a hellacious cold, sneezed and hurt my back.  Tomorrow, back to work.

And I hope this coming week will be better - for everyone, especially Susan.

25 blew out from under the bed:

Sandra said...

Oh man, I hope this week is better for you, I really really do.
As for Susan, holy shit, 50?...I don't pray (I feel I can be this honest with you) but I do desperately hope she will overcome this and be well.
As for you, shin up, pull yourself out, and clean whatever more you have to to see the light.
I do have to say, that even struggling to get out of the abyss, you have the best sense of humour: feeding the hamsters to power your computer. That's fucken clever! That's why I love reading you!

vixen kitten said...

First off, Sugar, I can't make this alright. I can't make it better. What I can do is sit here quietly as your friend, and hold your hand.

That blogger we both loved. HE did that for me, and he showed me that even from a distance, that hand can make all the difference.

Now you know I have a very strong faith, so I'll be praying for Susan and her family. And after I finish this comment, I'm going to email the prayer request to a group of dedicated prayer warriors that I know and love. So I got you covered there. She will be lifted up in prayer from around the world. They are a great group of people.

Remember, I got your hand. You just relax and hang on.


Ron said...

Oh, and I had a similar last week. I'm only grateful that I've had the last two days off from work to regroup and chill out.

I am so sorry to hear about your friend. But, please know that I will be sharing much Reiki energy with her throughout this week...

{{{{ Susan }}}}

Hope you get your computer fixed. And I'll be crossing my fingers that your Lotto ticket scores BIG$$ Hey, you never know, right?

Anyway, my wonderful friend...take good care of yourself, ok? Know that there are A LOT of people out here who love you and like Vixen Kitten shared...holding your hand.

X ya, bunchs!

Shhh.... said...

I'm sorry you've had such a rough week. And I'm really hoping this one will be a million times better. *hugs* I'll be thinking about you and sending happy thoughts your way. :)

Jeff B said...

Sudden things like strokes and the such make me question God as to why he would let it happen. Doesn't make me lose my faith, just makes me question His reasons. This side of heaven I suppose I'll never know. It frustrates me to no end.

All this to say, I don't have an answer as to why, but I will lift Susan up in prayer.

I hope you will find the rungs of the ladder to climb out of your abyss. We're all reaching for your hand to help you up.

Unknown said...

I'm close girl, you know that. Please email me and I'll give you my number.

Call me if you feel the need to:

hunt ghost
cause mischief <---Im good at this!
see a movie
consume adult beverages
eat italian(insert any kind)food
go fishing
prepare for the zombie apocalypse
window shop
drink coffee
sit in silence

I'm here. Holding the ladder steady.


Unknown said...

Crap, I forgot. I'm hoping for a speedy, complete recovery for Susan. I'll be thinking about her and sending good vibes her way.

Indi said...

nitebyrd ~ Here can you see my finger tips, I'm stretchin out my right hand, it's my strongest for you, your heart and your nerves right now. Grab a hold. I will be prayin for Susan and her family, my dad had a stroke 18 months ago.. he was one of the luckier ones. Shit and as for your cold. Boiling water, ginger, lemon and honeymake a pint of it drink it 3 times a day, ginger is an antiseptic, honey will soothe and the lemon is a decongestant.. and sleep helps too hun, hang in there please.



Distracted said...

Thinking of you.
I've had a similar week and YOU are one of the ones that helps me chase away the gray clouds. Keep on pushing through, lady. I'm right there with you.

Jen Fooled Around said...

So sorry you had such a rough weekend .. You know that many prayers will go out for your friend just because you were kind enough to post and ask.. mine included.

I, like you.. am a warrior.. fighting for myself and those around me.. but, we are a gift to those who need us. It's ok to be tired and angry.. sending a long distance *HUG*..

Hope the week gets better.

Anonymous said...

you know what they say.... there is always next week and it can still suck if you are lucky!!!!


Ronjazz said...

Honey, there will come a'll see...where you will hear "Nitebyrd...let me take care..." It's coming.

Akelamalu said...

A stroke at any age is bad news but at 50 - that's just not fair. I'll remember Susan when I'm sending Reiki. I'll send you some too - hope this week is better. x

Jennie @ Modern Mamaz said...

Sorry about your awful week! I will keep Susan in my thoughts. BTW this is my first time here... love your writings!

Mortuis said...

Prayers, positive energies, good vibes, lucky mojo and anything else I can think of going out to Susan and to you, post-posthaste.

You knew where I am and how to reach me.


nitebyrd said...

As of this evening, Susan is still in the coma but has been showing some signs of recovery. A CT was done late this afternoon and her daughter will let us know the results tomorrow.

Sandra ~ Thank you, girl! I try to find humor in most things. Even being in the depths of the abyss can be funny at times. Like having insomnia and finding a giant palmetto bug sitting on my book staring me dead in the eye at 3:27 in the morning. I didn't know whether to squash him or tell him my problems.

VK ~ You, along with my other blogland friends, give me hope and make me smile. Thank you SO much for your loving words and for asking your prayer warriors to pray for Susan. I can't find words enough to say how much I appreciate you doing this. Our beliefs may be different but our faith is the same.

Ron ~ I light prosperity candles at least once a week and say the prayer three times, somethin's gotta work soon, bro! Thank you for the Reiki energy and heartfelt words.

Heather B ~ Thank you, sweetie. I appreciate it very much.

Jeff B ~ I had sort of a "losing my shit" moment when another co-worker said, "It's God's will." I want to know why "it's God's will" for something like this to happen to a good person. But, I have to respect the beliefs of others so hopefully, they will respect mine. I just "pray" it's God's will to make Susan better. I will be climbing out of the abyss a little each day and hoping that nothing will knock me back!

peedee ~ I don't fish. I like to eat fish. Cooked fish, only. But I don't like to see them or touch them in their natural state. Creeps me out. Seriously, have you ever seen a Monkfish or a Grouper? *shudder* Everything else sounds excellent! I love the Sawgrass Mills Mall and PGA Mall! Windowshopping is great! Thank you for holding the ladder, girl! I'll definitely be in touch.

Indi ~ (((hugs))) You're the best! Okay for the drink but how much of each or do I just toss in handfuls and hope for the best? Do you think I could add some gin or tequila? Couldn't hurt, right?

Distracted ~ Thanks, hun. You keep on truckin', too. I had an incident with a spider last week that will be a separate post - more humorous! Stay tuned!

Jen ~ Thank you for your prayers and thoughts. A gift, huh? Okay, I'll try to think of myself like that instead of as chattel. ;) (((hugs))) back atcha!

Sir Thomas ~ If only it would suck in a good way! Well, hope springs eternal.

Ronjazz ~ Once again ... Hope springs eternal! I will never give-up. I'll whine, cry and gnash my teeth but I won't give up!

Akelamalu ~ Thank you, also for sending Reiki. Susan will know about all the good people that helped her when she gets better. I can't say exactly who, but will tell her that MY FRIENDS sent her good thoughts, energy and prayers

Jennie ~ Welcome! and thanks for stopping by. Thank you, too for keeping a good thought for Susan.

Mort ~ Thank you, love. I appreciate everything more than you know.

Anonymous said...

good vibes being sent your way :*

Red Shoes said...

Oh man... I am SO SO SO sorry about your friend, Susan... I hope she improves...


Riff Dog said...

I hope things turn around for you (and for Susan!) Like Ronjazz, I'm confident your day is coming where you're going to have someone to lean on and take care of you.

I missed whatever happened with your (possibly our) blogger friend. What the hell makes anyone think outing someone is "the right thing???" You're right, it's just plain wicked. Sometimes the self righteous are just looking for opportunities/excuses to be hateful.

nitebyrd said...

the ~ Thank you. I really appreciate them. :)

Red Shoes ~ Thanks. We haven't heard anything today (Wednesday) so I'm goin' with no news, is good news. Nice of you to stop by here!

Riff ~ From yours and Ronjazz's lips to the Gods ears. :D Welcome back, man!!! Someone'll catch you up, I'm sure.

Gucci Mama said...

Wicked indeed. I do not understand the depth of blackness that must exist in the soul of the person responsible for heaping such destruction on our blogger friend. It's vile.

I'm sorry it's pouring rain in your world, love. I know how you feel. It is in mine too.

If you find someone to fix it all while you watch movies, let me know. I'll bring the popcorn.

Deech said...

Well, it sounds like you had a weekend full of stuff happening. For all it's worth..Hugs to you...and I am sorry I am late for the party!

UP said...

Interestingly enough, I ran across your blog when I emailed you and the rest of the world by accident. Interesting site, and piece. My thoughts are w/ Susan, I don't know about the "outing", and my computer is OKish. And now I feel guilty for complaining all week about the minute little things that crossed my "happy path"...thanks for the wake UP call.


Joanna Cake said...

I dont know about the outing but I do know that Im approaching Susan's age and that possibility is extremely scary. Thinking good thoughts for her from across the ocean... and for you and that lottery ticket x

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

Nitebyrd... I'm linking you tomorrow and just saw this post.

I love you girl. I really do.

Some people just can't be happy unless they make others miserable. It's weird.

I will pray for Susan and her family. I always hate to hear stuff like that. And I'll put in a good word about that lotto ticket... if it's not to late... I'm not sure how or when those things are or how they work really.

I'm much like your friends Susan... no drinking, smoking, swearing and of "faith"

But I bet we'd be good friends. I cans till chill with the cool people :)