Hi! How y’all doin’? Hope you’ve had a nice Labor Day weekend. This past week has basically sucked ass for me but I’ll get to that in a bit. No matter how shitty I thought my week was, it was all puppy breath and unicorn farts compared to what a co-worker of mine is going through.
Susan is not someone I pal around with outside of work. She’s very proper, she loves and is loved by her husband and children, she is a woman of “faith” and she is very sure about how others should act. She doesn’t drink, smoke or swear. Obviously, we would never, ever be good friends but we have worked together for 4 years. This past Thursday night, Susan suffered a massive stroke. She had just turned 50.
Currently, she is in ICU in a medically induced coma until her brain stops swelling, paralyzed on her left side. I don’t know if she will recover so if you would, please say a prayer to whatever God you pray to, for Susan. Thank you.
Last week started out pleasantly enough. On Saturday, Mulder and I traveled to Orlando to see my niece, nephew-in-law and great nephew who were visiting from New York. We had a good time, I got my drink on a bit and had a good meal. Sunday brought the first shock that set me to crying and feeling like hammered shit. (Y’all know what happened and I’m not going into it.) The one thing I do want to say about it is that the incident confirmed my conviction that some people are just evil. Whether the person that “outted” the blogger did it because of spite or because they thought “they were doing the right thing”, the bottom line is that they hurt other human beings. We don’t know and may never know the extent of the hurt and damage that was done to this blogger and their family. It was a wicked thing to do. Being a terminal zombie, things that may just upset others, tend to set me off and drop me right into the abyss. Once there, it’s a struggle to get out. (I’m still working on climbing out this time but I’m in deep, folks.)
Tuesday, my computer crashed. My hard drive is fucked. I don’t know if anything can and/or will be recovered. As of today, the computer guy is still working on it. I can’t buy a new computer right now and am working on an old that requires the hamsters to be fed every couple hours so they’ll keep running on the power wheel. I’ve got no clue how long this machine will last . I bought an extra Lotto ticket this week. You never know, right? Friday, as I was getting all giddy about having 4 days off, the news of Susan’s stroke, pushed me further into the abyss. I’m terrified for her and her family. It also made me think that I’m tired of being the strong person, the person that can fix everything. I’m tired of worrying about bills and working. I’ve always sneered at women who are “delicate flowers”. Those kind of women that are taken care of by their partners. But right about now, I want to be the most delicate and precious of flowers. A rare bloom that is cherished, protected and loved. Being able to stop being strong, to have someone say, “Don’t worry, nitebyd. I’m going to fix it for you. You just sit back and watch movies.” would be the most wonderful thing in the world.
It probably won’t happen but depressed or not, I can still dream. Saturday, I did a full-on-balls-out cleaning of my bedroom and bathroom. Sunday, woke up with a hellacious cold, sneezed and hurt my back. Tomorrow, back to work.
And I hope this coming week will be better - for everyone, especially Susan.
The Dark Shadows Daybook: November 18
2 hours ago